


Teeth

by pantlesschibi



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: All the men are jerks, Alternate Universe - Mythology, Anal Sex, Angst, Asshole!Shizuo, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Body mutations, Bullies, Canon - Movie, Descriptive Violence, Descriptive mutilation, Douch eating vag, Exposure, F/M, First Time Blow Jobs, Horny Teenagers, Horror, I use the "c" word alot, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Male castration, Masterbation, Non medical amputation, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, OOC, Older Man/underage trans male, Peeping, Remarried, Sexual Harassment, Sorry Not Sorry, Step-Sibling Incest, Still not sorry, Topping from the Bottom, Trans Male Character, Trans!Izaya, Transgender bashing, Underage - Freeform, Vagina Dentata, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, cursing, descriptive rape, douchebags, genital piercings, ob/gyn, protective brother, sorry - Freeform, trigger warning, wet dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-08 04:54:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 23,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15235791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pantlesschibi/pseuds/pantlesschibi
Summary: Already confused and uncomfortable within his own skin, Izaya (Kanra) finds out the hard way just how strange and out of place his body really is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god, what the actually hell is wrong with me.
> 
> So, yes. This is based off if and will follow along a good portion of the horror-ish movie, "Teeth". Why you ask? Cause I can't leave good enough alone!
> 
> This is a non-transistional transgender fic, hormones and surgeries have not been used yet to alter the natural body. I don't claim to know 100% on transgender or how the transitional process goes. 
> 
> Everything is in Izaya's POV unless mentioned.
> 
> I do not own characters or movie, only this modified story.
> 
> Also, sorry but not really.
> 
> So, farther a-do, here is the first short teaser chapter. I hope you like it, comment and kudos if you do, see mistakes, or for anything else!
> 
> Ja~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this fic, take a good look at the tags and any warnings. I will only give a warning for the first time it shows up in the fic, after that I wont cause.... I already given a warning. just to let you know what you are getting yourself into.
> 
> Thank you! Enjoy!  
> btw this is a horror-comedy

 

 

*~*Third  POV*~* 

Orihara Kyouko grasps tightly onto the hospital gown clinging to her figure in the tight embrace of her husband.  Rolls of tears streak her cheeks as she continues to look into the enclosed confines that currently protect their barely alive newborn. 

The small infant is sleeping behind thick plastic and heating lamps, her breathing is labored and heart rate is low and erratic at best. The nurse is finally starting the first dose of the new trial drug from Yagiri Pharmaceuticals to counteract to the effects of the pathogen deteriorating the young infant's heart. 

The grieving parents watch as the IV is flushed then slowly the pale green liquid rolls down the tube and into the veins of the too tiny hand.

 

*~*~*Six Years Later*~*~*

Two children run around in the heat of summer, rolling to the ground before jumping back into the small yard pool again, splashing at each other.

The brunette boy shoves the small girl down causing her to hit her head on the poolside. The small raven girl crying out, calling the older boy childish names.

The boy continues to harass the small girl, just as siblings to by splashing and pushing and annoying the other.

"Ow!! Stupid Shizuo!" The grip yelps, pushing him back into the water and he splashes harder at the girl.

"Shizuo-kun, stop splashing and be nice to your sister!" Heiwajima Kichirou snaps at his son, sitting up to fix a glare at the eight-year-old boy from his lounge chair.

"She isn't my sister!" The little boy screams.

The father gives a light chuckle, looking at the gorgeous woman lying next to him in a matching chair and giving her a warm smile and taking Kyouko's hand into his own. "Well, I hope that she will be your sister, someday soon." He speaks with a twinkle in his eye.

Gasping and screaming, "No!" The little boy is glaring hard at his dad. No way did he want a sister, not her or any other!

Sighing, "Can't you both at least pretend to get along please?"

"No, goddamn it!"

"Watch your mouth boy!"

"Kichirou," Kyouko placing a hand on his knee. "It's fine he's just a kid. Cut him some slack, this is all new to him."

Sighing and nodding, as he goes back to his drink.

Far enough from the parents' eyes the boy sits next to the raven girl, her tears had stopped and her face almost blank- red eyes staring right at him. The boy nonchalantly rolling down the waistband of his trunks, exposing himself under the grass full water. The girl looks down, not much of an expression on her face.

"Now, your turn. Let me see," he says looking down and pulling his waistband back up. 

The girl shows no means of moving to the boy pushes her one-piece suit to the side at the pelvis, a look of disgust at what he sees and goes to touch it anyways, poking one finger inside before he feels the sharpness and the slice of his fingertip.

"Ow, ow ow," he cries out, clinching his bleeding finger into his fist and his father and soon to be mother run to his side and checking his hand out.

Kyouko turns with a face of horror to her daughter. "Kanra, are you okay?" She continues to repeat her name, the little girl just giving a far off looking into the methane covered skies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://i1179.photobucket.com/albums/x397/Konori-Ruiko/684801.jpg
> 
> picture used


	2. Chapter 2

 

*~*~*~*~*~* 11 years Later*~*~*~*~*~*

Silence. As I stand in front of the moderate audience of mix-match ages and genders, I feel the bead of sweat roll down the back of my neck with nervousness and the tightness of my binder digging into my sides as I shift leg to leg.

With a deep breath in, I force a smile to my lips as I begin to speak into the cheap microphone.

"Good morning, everyone. My name is Heiwajima Izaya and I am here to speak with you about self-acceptance and the importance of abstinence.  As many of you may already know, I am transgender- meaning when I was born, I was seen and treated as a girl all the way up until a year ago. I had always felt uncomfortable about my body as a whole, not quite understanding just what it was. I grew up hating myself, suicidal, overall disgust with myself- and I couldn't understand why it was I felt this way. It stopped me from being able to connect with others and to open up to anyone." I take a deep breath.

"-One day, my mother looked at me and said 'Kanra, why with such self-destruction? Life isn't what is laid out before you, but what you make of it. If you are truly unhappy, change it. If you believe strongly for anything, fan that fire and keep it feed.' I didn't understand what she meant at first, but then I slowly began to understand- finally understanding fully, I broke the news to my family. My parents have been very accepting and supportive- which has been the strong building blocks to help me pick up my life and finally be able to love myself. My brother had mixed feelings of disgust and not really caring or understanding."

I pick at the hem of my tee, biting back the ping of pain in my chest from the disapproval of my step-sibling. Pushing it away, I continue. "My Mother always told me I was a gift to the world, ever since I can remember, every day and twice on Sundays," I give a little giggle. "Along with my change in my gender recognition, she also stood by my choice of abstinence. The willingness to hold on to the one thing I was given at birth, the one thing that no matter what alterations are done to me over these next years of my journey- I will always have this gift to finally give to the person I fall in love with. He or she that I will forever be bonded to."

Smiling down at the ring on my left hand. "This ring right here, the one on all of our hands today is a symbol to stay true to our choices, it's ours to choose who to give this gift to and when the right time to give it. Preferably when it can finally be exchanged for that similar golden band. The one that signals everlasting love and devotion to another." I scan the crowd, the faces of youth looking up at me in awe, a new face smiling softly at me from across the room causing a blush to creep to my cheeks.

Clearing my throat and raising my left hand to the sky, the others following suit. "Just remember, that no one can ever tell you how to live your life, whether it's gender related, or waiting till your married to engage in intercourse. Or if you want to be a particular something or someone when you are older. Just remember that these will be your choices, just sometimes it might help to have a reminder to keep you on track to your goals." Giving a bright smile, I bow. "Thank you for having me," and I make my leave to sit outside the hallway with my two best friends; Namie and Seiji, the twins as the huddle up on one of the information tables to continue watching the other speakers.

"Sooo, How did I do?" I beam at them as I rock back and forth the balls of my feet with the biggest shit-eating grins on my face.  Turning towards me and throwing arms around me, cheering.

"Amazing~ It was perfect!" Namie cheers. Seiji grinning and nodding in approval. 

"They are thinking of having me come back for more speeches, I'm super exciting." Beaming, half listening to the other speakers in the background.

"Oh hey man," Seiji calls behind me making me whip around, face to face to the guy in the crowd before-blushing hard. "Oh Izaya, this is Kyouhei Kadota. He just transferred to our school and starting in the morning."

He extends his hand, in which I take a little too impatiently. "Nice to meet you Izaya-kun. You were wonderful up there, by the way. I could see the awe and inspiration in all their eyes as you spoke. It was like magic," he praises, my cheeks burning as he lifts my hand and giving the small band a peck. 

"Oh, um. Thank you...," I stop to think, I have a thing for giving people nicknames- at least the ones worth a day to me. "Oh, I know. Dotachin!" I beam, the twins humming in approval.

"What is a ...dotachin?" He tilts his head to the side, questioning the two behind me.

"He likes to give out nicknames. I'm Namnams, he is Seiji-bear, his brother is Shizu-chan. Guess what you are now~" she purrs, poking the back of my calf with her shoe knowingly.

"Oh dear god. Please, just Kadota is fine." He laughs, "Oh, its time for me to go. See you guys later. Nice meeting you Izaya-kun," he smiles and leaves, leaving me to turn to the twins with their knowing looks.

"Oh shut up." I laugh, cuddling up with them as we watch the rest of the show.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Mom, I'm home," I call out, dropping my bag next to my shoes at the front door and skipping to her bedroom. Pushing open the door and pouncing on my mother with a hug. 

She smiling down at me, wrapped lightly in her blankets. "So, tell me. How did it go?"

Beaming, laying back on her bed. "Wonderful, Mom. We even got 15 new members and they are thinking of having me back as a speaker. It felt so good to be able to speak, freeing." 

"I'm glad it was a good turn out, my precious baby," she coos, stopping to cough harshly into her fist.

"Oh, mother. How are you feeling today, are you in pain? Do I need to call the doctors again?" I ask, my stepfather creeping in with pills and a glass of water- handing to her to take. 

"Your mother isn't feeling so well, she has an appointment in a few days. We will hear more then. How was your speech, darling?" Father leans to give me a peck on my forehead. 

"It was great. Honestly. I don't think anything could ruin the feeling it gives me."

Just as I stop speaking I can hear the unbearably loud music roar through the walls from my brother's room.  _Okay, almost anything._ Groaning as I put the pillow over my head.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*

He finally gave it a rest after a few hours. Dinner past by and my parents were both asleep. I go to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and washing my face, sighing. I pull off my top and unfastening my binder, finally able to take in a deep breath. I frown at my reflection, cupping both of my small breasts in disappointment.  _One day, you guys will be gone. Forever._

Twirling, I go to turn on the shower just as my brother is jumping out with a boo, making me scream and cover myself with a deep blush.

"Yes! I got you so good, fucker! You should have seen your face, it was all like "ahhh~" Perfect," he is laughing, somehow never pulling his gaze away from my exposed hand covered chest.

I take my free hand, smacking at him. "Shizu-chan! Asshole! Get out you monster! Out OUT!" I push him out of the room. Sighing as I lean against the door. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*

I continue my doodling, laying comfortably in my sleep shorts and a tank top.  I hear the volume of his TV cranks up, the dividing wall vibrates from the deafening noise.

Getting fed up, I storm out and to his room, banging loudly on the door. When he doesn't answer, I whip it open, yelling at him to turn it down- only stopping to realize what he is watching as the pornographic moans bounce through the room from the TV and the display of my step-brother with his hand wrapped around his cock, giving me a smug look.

"What do you want,  _Izaya-chan?"_ He smirks, glancing at how I haven't ripped my eyes away from the lewd display. "Oh, do you see something you like? Or maybe you're jealous~ Me having this nice big fully functional cock, the cock you wish you had, right?  _Little brother~,"_ he purrs, continue to stroke himself in front of me, not caring.

I am completely red, throwing up a middle finger at him. "Fuck you, Shizu-chan. Keep your pathetic baby cock. No one wants it. God, I hate you!" I storm out, tears sting the corners of my eyes by the time I make it to my room, slamming my door shut in frustration. I throw myself on my bed, the tears streaking my cheeks.

_He was right though, I was jealous. He had everything I could ever want and he takes it for granted. Stupid beautiful blonde asshole._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://i1179.photobucket.com/albums/x397/Konori-Ruiko/684801.jpg  
> picture used


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School and harassment warning:: trans bashing and sexual comments, slut bashing

 

Standing outside the Raira Academy gates always left me with a foreboding feeling. I know what's to come, it's the same every day. The same old jokes and mocks and catcalls. Not once a change, except today- it's different today because I look up I see him, standing with my best friends just within the entrance of the school.

_I can do this, just put on a smile and refuse to acknowledge it. Remember, he's watching you, so don't mess up._

After my internal pep talk, I straightened my back and gripping tightly on to the strap of my messenger bag with a convincing smile plastered on my face as I start my stride through the courtyard, the harassment instantly flowing in one after another.

"Got a gift right here you can unwrap," one boy calls, brush up close to me and grabbing at his crotch.

Another boy tossing a condom at me, mouthing 'call me'. Followed by the usual taunts of being a 'prude' switching quickly to being a 'whore'  as I pass groups of girls.

I hear one boy talking loudly to another, "So, does that mean she has a cock now or does she still have a pussy," he smirks right at me, speaking. "Baby, if you want a cock so bad, I have a big one you can have right here."

I grit my teeth, forcing the smile to stay on my face as I continue to walk.

Two more boys running in front of me. "Hey, you got a soda today, what kind?" The one boy smirks, showing his can of cola, "I got cherry today!" Popping the tab at me, the fizz getting slightly on my uniform. "Pop that cherry, bitch." They laugh hi-fiving before running away.

Grabbing tighter on my strap, almost there.

One boy with glasses is shoved hard into my path but gets up, apologizing quickly. I shake it off, finally making it to my friends.

I wave, blushing hard at both the boy and the embarrassing welcome I received. "Good morning, Dotachin." My friends behind him coo'ing. 

"Good morning, Izaya-kun. Man, what a noisy crowd in the morning, huh?" He smiles down at me and I can feel my heart rate pick up and go pitter patter against my ribcage.

 "Yeah, they know how to give one hell of a welcome, huh," gritting my teeth but also thankful that he clearly didn't hear their comments. The twins jumping at me with a hug, each with an arm around my waist as we make our way into class, giggling.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Not really paying attention to the lesson as I continue to doodle, only turning the pages as I see others do so in my sideways glance. I feel the dopey smile on my face knowing that Dotachin is only a couple seats down; catching him as he glances up at me every so often with a blush on his cheeks when he gets caught in my stare.

The teacher clears his throat loudly, "Ok, that's it for the male reproductive system, now on the female- we will be covering the inner and outer anatomy, physiology, and hormones associated with the ..., female VA-, woman parts." He speaks uncomfortably.

Students chatter confusingly, flipping the pages in their books back and forth.

"Sir, why are all the diagrams covered up in our books?"

"Yeah, mine too!"

"What are you hiding in here huh?" One boy laughs.

"Yes, we were required to conceal all detailed diagrams and images contain the va- lady parts-"

"Pussy!" One boy cackles.

"Cunt," another joins in.

"Clit"

"Vulva."

"Enough! We get it! Now settle down, boys!" He barks, smacking his hands on the desk.

"But why are you covering up the vagina, you showed the picture of the penis?" The bespectacled one chimes in. It's hard to pretend I'm not paying attention anymore, my fingernails picking at the corner of the sticker in question.

"I know but this is different-"

"And what makes this any different, huh!?" He snaps back, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose like a challenge.

"The sad thing is, Kishitani, you'll never know!" His friend laughs, giving him a playful shove.

"Okay, enough. Let's just carry on with the lesson," he says in hope of the subject dropping. 

It doesn't of course.

"Hey since we can't have a diagram can we voluntary someone up as an example. Maybe, Mikajima- she has a fine example I'm sure she wouldn't mind sharing with the class." The boys start laughing louder, one responding "But everyone's already seen that snatch already, right?" The boy gets hi-fived by at least three students.

"Why do you have to be so vulgar, Saki-chan is a person, not a piece of meat," I growl, fists balled up tightly.

"What was that, little tranny?" The boys are all glaring at me now. Shit.

"Oh forget Mikajima. I always wondered what a tranny cunt looks like, I bet it looks like a monster!" One boy bites back with his insults.

My shoulder slouch as I try to curl and hide, feeling the tears sting at the corner of my eyes.

"Come on, leave him alone!" I glance over, Dotachin is standing up for me- I give him a small sad smile as thanks.

"What are going to do about it," the boy growling at him.

I can't take it anymore, grabbing my school bag and book, "excuse me, sir," as I run out of the classroom as the tears run down my cheeks.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pic https://www.pinterest.co.uk/amp/pin/683139837201289572/
> 
> Yes I kept the cherry soda harrassment. -from actual movie and some of the class dialogue is similar to that if the movie.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date. Fluffy. Talking. And a switch to third person inbetween

The tears continue to run freely as I huddle in a tight ball under the stairwell, the soft sobs and hiccups making my shoulders shake slightly.

I know better than to let them get to me. I shouldn't let them ever make me feel guilty about my choices about my life and happiness; I just never had someone actually defend me, I never meant to drag anyone into my day to day bullshit. He didn't deserve to have to deal with this, I feel the guilt of involving him.

I hear the shifting of feet near the bottom step, the shoes pausing. "Izaya-kun?" The voice whispers, walking slowly to come to me and crouching. "Oh, sweetheart."

The warmth of arms wraps around me as soon as his knees hit the floor and resting my head on his chest. I rub frantically at the tears, looking up to meet his sad smile. "Dotachin? Shouldn't you be in class?" My voice barely reaching a whisper as he holds my gaze, petting the top of my hair.

Shaking his head, his smile softens more and bangs hang to one side of his face. "No, I think I am right where I should be." I can't help the giggle I let out, sighing contently as I rest my head on his chest.

"I'm sorry. I never meant for you to be dragged into my mess. You deserve better, I just hope they don't cause you any problems now. I know how hard being the new kid can be as it is," I sigh, the feeling of his fingers working through my hair calms me quickly.

The vibrations through his chest as he chuckles has me looking up to meet his questionable.

"Oh, Izaya-kun. You are no problem at all, I'd rather stand by your side then ever see you shed another tear because of those assholes- excuse my language." He sighs out, "You are such a great and strong person, you deserve the world; you deserve to be treated like the Prince you are."

With a broad smile, I wrap my arms around his neck and hugging onto him tightly - him returning in favor. "Thank you, Dotachin. "

"Of course, I mean every word of it." Nodding to himself, "Hey, why don't we do something after school? Us and the twins, maybe go see a movie or something? Help take your mind off of everything."

I agree far too quickly, the deep blush rises to my cheeks- just now realizing how close we are as I finally release him.

After giving him my number I quickly grab my bag and book as I hear to bell ringing for class exchange. With a smile, I bid him farewell.

*~*~*~*~*~*

 The bright lights illuminate the pitch black of the movie theater, giggling at the scene playing on the large projected screen. Namie has her head resting on my shoulder with her arms looped around mine and on the other side of me, Dotachin is, slyly stealing a piece of popcorn like I can't see him, grinning at him when he gets caught.

"Go ahead, help yourself," I whisper, meeting his eyes before turning away shyly- twirling the red vine around my finger before nibbling on it, glancing back up at him every so often with a shy smile.

We continue to throw sneaky glances at each other with a giggle, bravely deciding to rest my head on his shoulder as I continue to enjoy the rest of the movie.

Seiji-bear was already passed out, drooling 10 minutes into the movie and Namnam giggling when she sees what I am doing, shooting her a look that screams 'shut up.'

*~*~*~*~*

Meanwhile...

(((( The bass from the stereo is a low thud as the small dark bedroom covered in band posters and half-naked women clouds over with smoke, the stoned giggle of a female is heard as she is curling up next to the blonde male as he takes a long, deep hit from the joint they are sharing.

As he is passing it, the girl plucks it from his fingertips- running her finger over the deep scar on the tip of his index finger.

"Woah, that's pretty gnarly. Where did you get it from," she askes, taking a long hit while she waits.

Shaking his head, "I don't know, it was when I was a kid-  never figured out what exactly happened," he replies, suddenly giving a slight chuckle.

"What?" The brunette girl askes, adjusting her breast in her black dress, passing the joint back to him.

He greedily pulls from the barely left roach before stomping out the ends into the ashtray next to his bed. Exhaling with a slight cough, he answers. " What I think is that she bite me," he replies with a half-broken answer. She's asking 'who's as she latches her lips to the side of his neck and sucking a trail down his unclothed chest.

"Kanra- I mean, Izaya...whatever." He groans as she palms at the crotch of his pants, getting hard in her grasp. "Fuck," he growls, crawling over her with the end of her dress hiking up above her waist and licking  up her neck as he is ripping the panties from her.))))))

*~*~*~*~*

We made our way to the path in the woods with plenty of daylight left, the movie ended quickly and it was the twins idea to find this watering hole that the other students were talking about it.

Namie grasping my hand as she leads the way. "Isn't this suppose to be like a hookup spot or something?" I question, wryly. 

"Yeah, maybe. But that's only at night. Don't worry though, we will protect you from the big bad," she stops and leans in whispering, "cock." She busts out with a giggle as I turn red and cover my face.

"God, I hate you!" I groan, hearing the boys laughing behind us as we make our way down, finally finding a hidden lake. "Wait, is that a cave?" I ask, point across the water to the opening in the submerged stone.

"Oh my god, yeah. I heard about that. Everyone says they use that place to....you know," as she makes lewd gestures with her fingers. I give her a shove, shaking my head.

Dotachin rolls his eyes at her, ignoring her vulgar comments as he holds a hand out to me. "Want to go for a walk with me," I grasp his hand after a moment, chewing the corner of my lip, I nod as he leads the way.

We make light chit-chat as we find a clearing near the water, taking off our shoes and rolling up our pants to dip our feet in, giggle as I feel a fish slide against my foot.

"So, you seem super committed to your purity promise. Not that it's a bad thing, just curious as to what made you choose that while others around us give it so willingly." I shift uncomfortably at his question, he notices and puts his hands up. "Sorry! I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, really! I'm just trying to learn more about you is all, what you think and how to understand you. "

Nervously I nod, breathing in deep and releasing. "I choose this because it's something I have control of in a life where I have no control over anything. I can't control the fact that my father past away when I was young or that my mother is always sick without any answers, I can't control my brothers hate for me or the taunting at school. But this, I can control. It's my right to be able to choose what to do with my virginity or my first kiss or my first, anything. I think that is why it is so important to me." I sigh, a small smile on my lips as I make eye contact with him, kicking my feet gently through the water.

"Oh, I'm so sorry about your parents. I do hope your mother well." He whispers, grasping one of my hands in his before releasing it.

"So, you never touch anyone or had them touch you before?" He continues and I feel the crunch of my nose at it.

"Oh hell no, never! Why,  have you?" I reply, not meaning to come out so harsh.

He looks down, not meeting my eyes. "Honestly. I had sex once. I think. About two years ago I went to a house party, made some unwise chooses, and woke up in bed with a girl. I don't really remember much of the actual night but I live with the guilt of what happened." He looks up with a shaky smile and I feel the awkwardness taking over. "That's why I joined, in hopes to maybe have a new start- though I guess it makes me kind of a hypocrite."

Shaking my head, I grasp his hand. "Of course not. You made a mistake in the past, you want to right the choices you made and better yourself. It takes a strong person to do that. Don't beat yourself up about it, okay? You have friends here to help you if you would want to consider me your friend that is?" Blushing up at him, I can't stop how much this boy turns me red and makes my insides feel like mush. 

Giving me the biggest toothy grin, he nods" I would love to have you as a friend," he praises and cups my cheek and giving my other a peek. My face heats up and I'm terrified to know just how red I must look right now.

Gently smiling, "You have the most beautiful red eyes," he strokes my cheek and I feel like I'm melting.

"Th-thank you," I stutter, involuntarily moving into the touch. Realizing what I'm doing, I quickly shake loose and standing up, "oh, we should go find the others," I responded quickly as I throw on my shoes and he follows me, noting the disappointment on his face.

*~*~*~*~*

(((((The girl continues to moan heavy against the sheets as he continues to pound into her, the bed shift with the harshness of his thrusts. Gripping hard on her hips as he pistons into her hot and fast, the slick of lubricate running down her legs and she is biting her knuckles to stop the scream of pleasure from ripping from her lungs.

A few more hard thrusts and he is pulling out, stroking his length until his orgasm rips through him, painting her ass cheeks hot and heavy with cum, smear the tip of his cock through her crack before tucking himself back into his pants.

"Fuck, that was good," he moans, sitting on the edge of the bed as the girl cleans herself up, rolling her dress down and fixing her hair back into a bun. "You fucking love it don't you," he speaks, a smug smirk on his lips.

"Not really. Though I have a perfectly good pussy you could fuck instead,  asshole," she rolls her eyes.

"I'm sure you do," he mumbles,  getting up and grabbing the dog treat, banging on the cage that leads from inside his room to the backyard. The large angry dog rushes in, bark as he drops the treat in. "Good Beast," he laughs, shaking the cage to piss the dog off before hopping on his bed, snuggling up to the girl.

Sighing, "I wish you weren't such a jerk sometimes, Shizuo-san."

He grins at her, "Doesn't everyone, Erika-chan."))))))

*~*~*~*~*

It's dark by the time I get home, Mom and Dad are asleep on the couch, tv still on. I cover them in a blanket and kissing their foreheads as I shut off the tv and go to my room to get ready for bed. Stripping down and hanging up my binder, I dress in my tank top and boyshorts, not really caring for real pajamas tonight as I crawl in my bed enjoying the rare silence as I drift to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wet dreams. Masturbation. Non-consensual touching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normal text is Third Person  
>  _Dream/Izaya_

_Staring lazily into his chocolate eyes as we are laying under the stars, his hand gently cup the outline of my jaw and his thumb rubbing over my cheek- leaning into his touch with a dopey content smile and fluttering of my eyelids. I reopen then to find him closer now, his forehead pressing lightly to mine and our noses a hair widths away from brushing. He is smiling down at me,  admiration shining heavy in those dark orbs causing the air out of my lungs and my body feels hot, far too hot to believe I am only in a tee shirt and jeans._

The blonde lays on his bed, lazily smoking the short cigarette down to the butt.  The room is dead silent, the whole house is silent.  The last thing he heard was the soft steps of his sibling and the tv shutting off- that all but hours ago. He startles a little,  the sound of gasp are heard from his sibling's room follow by a whimper that was barely heard if it wasn't for the deafening silence. He slides the corner of the poster on the wall, peeping through the hole he put there years ago- hidden and gone unnoticed for so long.

The room is dark except for the moonlight illuminating the bed- the blanket and sheets seem to have been push down his is brothers sleep because they are bunched up and barely above his knees giving a fine show of the milky white flesh of thighs leading up to the sinful way his boy shorts hug onto his wide hips and the ride of his shirt teasing the imagine of sharp hipbones and the edging of his belly button.

He hears the whimper again leave his lips, the shift in his thighs are noticeable and so is the rotation of his hips-his whimper exchanging into a small groan. 

He knows what is happening now, there is no denying how turned on he is- the strain of his now hardening cock is enough proof of that.

_I gasp and pant as he peppers kisses down my chin and neck as the ghost of his breath makes me shiver, in all the right ways. The moon is shining high and bright, the serenade of fireflies dance around us like candle flames. I moan at the scrape of teeth nipping and lips sucking gently on my collarbones and his large warm hand placed on my hip causes the involuntary action of my knees widening and he is crawling between my thighs, the warmth of his body pressing down against my chilled one- shivering._

He slides into the darkness, the door to the room closing without a sound. The soft sounds and heavy breathes sound so loud in the room, echoing a chorus just for him and his viewing pleasure. The smirk plastered on his face as stand by the bed, soaking in the figure lying there before him, the twist of his hips lifting slightly off the mattress and the pinch of his thighs clamped tight as the rub down on each other- he can practically feel the heat raising the temperature  in the room just from the raven writhing  and moaning on the bed.

He tests his limits, fingertips brush the knee as it stills, dragging it lightly up his hairless thigh- enjoying the shiver it causes in its wake.

_I feel the blossom of bruises coating my throat,  his fingertips dancing up the outside of my thigh and hip to the hem of my blood red shirt- he is pulling gently as a silent question. Biting the corner of my lip, I nod shyly. He pulls the fabric up, my back and shoulders arching off the ground as he pulls it over my head. His strong arm wraps around the middle of the back to keep me in place, his lips dancing over mine as he starts unhooking my binder._

_Finally, the binder is tossed to the ground leaving my top bare to him and I shyly cover my breasts with my hands- the feeling of shame laying a heavy cloud over my heart. He pulls his shirt off, the tan skin and the beginning build of muscle can be outlined in the dim light. Shaking his head, he smiles at me and gently pulling my hands free until I lay bare from the waist up to him. I look away embarrassed and shamefully, waiting for the disgust to take over. But it doesn't come as he cups my cheek and peeking my lips, whispering how beautiful I am, making me melt into his words._

_His hands run up the length of my abdomen, causing me to quiver and moan- finally gently massaging at the small soft mounds of flesh and rubbing circles over the harden nipples, pinching them every so often causing me to moan out continuously._

His hands running up the tank top and pushing the fabric up slowly as to not wake him, eyes shifting back and forth from the shirt to his face. Finally, he raising the top high enough over his chest to show the perfect perked breasts and hard pink nipples- the blonde moans at the sight, his mouth watering. "Fuck, Izaya. So beautiful," he groans, one hand caressing the mounds of flesh and pinching the nipple lightly causing the raven to moan loudly like music to his ears. He uses his free hand to release his aching cock from his briefs, fingers sliding along the underside of his length to toy with the frenum piercing tucked just under the head of his cock, moaning at the contact. 

He leans in, wrapping his lips around one hard bud and sucking gently- the moans pulling from the raven's lips causing him to stroke his cock, shiver at the relief of friction.

_He is kissing heavy and wet down my stomach, hands still working at my breasts as he kisses until he is at the waistband of my jeans- slowly unbuttoning them and sliding them over my ass and down to drop off my ankles, my boxer briefs following en-suite. The nervousness building up in the pit of my stomach again as he pushing gently at my thighs to open up to him but he continues to smile, praising me and I slowly start to not feel the disgust I have for myself knowing that I am precious in his guys._

_His hands running up my inner thighs as he admires the view he is receiving, fingers getting dangerously close before moving back down my thighs- teasing me. I let out a surprised gasp as his fingers make contact with my clit, rubbing between two fingers as he litters my inner thigh is soft hickeys._

"Fuck," the blonde is moaning out, stroking himself as his watches to raven slides his hand into his panties, moaning at the view of cloth cover fingers push inside, then out and in again. He makes a quick choice, letting his cock go in favor of gently pulling the edges of the fabric down off his hips and over his quivering thighs, tossing it at the end of the bed. He watches in amazement as the raven continues to finger himself in his sleep, rubbing over his clit and dipping back into the folds of skin, his fingers are slick and wet from the light shining through the window.

He grabs his cock again, stroking quickly as he imagines burying himself to a hilt in the tight wet pussy in front of him making the precum leak heavy. He gently pushing the legs apart to give him a better view as the fingers work in and out more, hips rolling down on the digits.

_He keeps rubbing at my clit, the heat pooling in my stomach and I'm squirming in pleasure, I'm a moaning mess as I feel the tip of his tongue running between his fingers and over on clit as his fingers work the sides of it. I'm so close, I can feel it. My first orgasm, its weird and different but I can feel the build-up and I know what it is. What it has to be._

_His tongue working down the folds of flesh then flicking back up, making sure to show extra attention to the over sensitive bud of flesh._

He rubs at the raven's clit, his thumb rubbing circles over the flesh driving the sleeping raven crazy and riddled with moans, his fingers thrusting in faster. The blonde circles his wrist, pulling his fingers free and licking his fingers clean- the raven whimpering at the loss but moaning quickly as the blonde is working his tongue frantically on him. His tongue running flat and rotating and sucking at his clit before repeating again. The blonde is stroking himself, so close to cumming but he holds out- wanting to cum as he makes the raven above him cum. He can feel it happening, the muscles clutching and quivering as the raven grasps hard at his sheets- he is getting wetter as the blonde laps at him, cumming hard with a grunt in his fist to catch his seed.

He pulls away, quickly fixing the Raven's clothes and covering him in a blanket with a smug smirk on his blissed-out lips as he rushes out to clean himself up.

_I feel the orgasm rip through me as I gasp out his name, "Kyouhei."_

_Everything goes blank, with a blissful smile on my lips._

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys ready to hate Shizuo even more? Let's do this!

 

The morning feels off and strange, I feel the tenderness in my breasts and my inner thighs feel slick, my underwear as lopsided and pinched in spots.   _What the hell did I do?_ I think, shaking my head, slowly starting to recall the lewd details of my dream.

"Oh," I whisper in realization.

I quickly shower, trying to rid myself of the impurities of my late night actions, the disgust within myself sinking in and I can already feel that today is going to be a bad day. I get ready for school, hooking my binder extra tight and rotating my ring on my finger.

Arriving at school, I didn't even bother with putting on a smile to cover up the hurt from the comments and teasing. I storm past my friends and Dotachin and straight to a bathroom stall, wanting to just curl up and disappear.

I hear the light knock on the stall door, choosing in favor to ignore it, balling up and letting the tear escape, not feeling strong enough for today.

All I feel is disgust. The self-loathing. Chop it up to hormones, I don't care. 

"Izaya-kun? Do you want to talk about it," the boy I'm crushing on is trying to comfort me and all I can do is hide and sulk?

Pathetic.

Coward.

Whispering I tell him I'm fine, asking him to leave. I hear him sigh and leave, the door closing roughly. 

*~*~*~*~*

The rest of the day continued the same, I'm quieter than normal and ignoring all forms of dialogue. Ignoring him, my friends, teachers, everyone. The taunts go unfazed, carrying on the rest of the day stonefaced and blank, distracting myself from actually thinking.

When I get home and alone, I finally feel like I am able to unwind and calm myself. 

With a heavy sigh, I pull out my cell phone and scroll until I get to his name.

To Dotachin:: Hey, I'm sorry I was so weird today. Just not a good day, sorry :(

From Dotachin:: it's alright, you okay?

To Dotachin:: No, but I will be. I just need to relax I think.  Sorry for making you worry.

From Dotachin:: don't be sorry, darling. I just missed seeing your beautiful smile today is all.

Damn him, I feel the corners of my lips pulling back as I lay on my bed, sighing contently.

To Dotachin:: You're so sweet, thank you for that :)

To Dotachin imagine sent. 

Sending a picture of the smile he pulls from me, even in the deepest pits of self-despair.

From Dotachin:: :) That's my boy. Makes it even better knowing I made that sweet smile on your face 

I giggle and blush, my mood final taking a 180. 

To Dotachin:: thank you, I needed the cheering up. I'll text you later.

Putting my phone down as I pull out the piles of homework from my backpack to start on. The smile now never leaving my lips.

 

*~*~*~*

(((((Erika can't stop the sob pulling from her buried lips, head pushed at a weird angle on the bed as Shizuo slams hard into her ass- finally getting fend up as she shoves him off and out of her, tears running wild down her cheeks.

"What the hell is wrong with you, asshole?!" She yells, punching at his chest- only making him laugh.

"What's wrong, huh?" He grins and shoves her to the bed. 

"Why do you only fuck me like that? Can't you even tell you're hurting me, Shizuo-san!?" She grits her teeth, pushing herself up. "It hurts, you're too fucking rough. Why can't you fuck me normally like everyone else, huh?"

"Everyone else? Fuck you, go ahead and fuck them then," He spits venom, no trace of a smile on his face.

_Izaya continues his schoolwork, earbuds lightly playing music - the booming sounds from his brother's room has him popping one out._

"No! I don't want them, I want you! I love you Shizuo!" She chokes back her sobs, he snorts.

"You love me, yeah right bitch."

"I do! And I know you love me too, I know you do!" She tries to convince him.

He grins wide, "You're right, I do love you. I love fucking your ass. That's it!" he laughs, ignoring the tears as she runs out of the room. 

_Izaya can't believe what he is hearing, how could anyone talk to someone like that. How could his own brother be so cold to his girlfriend? His heart aches for the girl, ashamed of how his brother can easily hurt someone like that._

_He decides that first thing tomorrow, he will confront him.)))))_

_*~*~*~*~*_

I pick at the hem of my shirt as I shift from leg to leg nervously outside my step brothers bedroom door. I've been avoiding it the last few hours, not really sure how to go about this, knowing we don't really talk or get along well.

I sigh, finally knocking quickly.

"Yea, who is it," he replies, not much emotion in his response.

"Are you alone?" I ask, meeting nothing but silence, I crept the door open just enough to squeeze in, nervously looking at the dog cage to make sure Beast wasn't there to greet me- he absolutely terrifies me (Shizuo brought him home as retaliation to my choice of change knowing full well how scared I am of dogs.)

"What do you want," he askes, he looks a bit stunned.

"C-can we talk?" I ask, stubbing my toe nervously in the carpet. "About you and Erika-chan-" I start to just be cut off.

"Look, there is no me and anyone, hear. Just drop it." He speaks coldly, causing me to shiver but I stand my ground.

"Look, I overheard you last night-"

He grins widely, "Did it turn you on? Get off to the sound of us," he giggles maniacally, striking up a cigarette.

"What?! No! Shizu-chan, you were a complete douche bag. Sorry, but true. What the hell wrong with you?" I breath hard, "look I know we were never close and we don't talk or even act like brother and well, brother, and I don't know why but-"

"Oh, you know why. Don't even try lying," he points is fingers at me, like I knew the answer. I didn't though.

"No. I don't, but I really wish I did," I hear him snort, "Is it me, did I do something for you to hate me so much? Let me change this, I want to have my brother in my life. Please." I beg.

Shaking his head at me, "You know,  _Izaya_ , we all know that saving yourself, virgin stuff is just bullshit." My eyebrows kneading together, waiting for him to continue. "We both know why you are holding out, and believe me, I have been so very patient throughout the years."

What? Is he saying what I think he is...

"Now, why don't you slide that fine perky ass right on over here and let me unwrap my present, huh?" And I just want to slap the cocky smirk right off his face.

"Know what, fuck you Shizu-chan. We are related, why in your screwed up drug-fried brain of yours would you think I would ever, want to fuck you? Soon, I will be a man and believe me, we all have heard about how you're no faggot! So drop this ridiculous notion!" I scream, rushing out of his room after my outburst.

I groan in frustration, stuffing my bag with a few things and stuffing my phone in my pants pockets and running out the door.

I need to get away from the insanity for a bit.

*~*~*~*~*

An hour later of walking, I finally make it to the pathway we walked the other day. I find a rock alongside the dirt road and sit on it, flipping my phone open and closed nervously. 

Flipping it open once more, I scroll to his name and push call. Waiting for him to finally pick up. 

"Hello."

"Dotachin. Can I see you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so nothing bad happened yet. No more promises after this. :D
> 
> Also sorry to anyone I may upset by dropping the "f" slur


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its all down hill from here. Warning:: rape. Description mutations

I didn't have to wait for very long until I see him pull in down the dirt road and parking, parents car would be my guess and honestly, I don't care; the stress and weight lifted off my shoulders replaced with a warm smile as I watch him get out of the vehicle. He walking quickly to me and pulling me into his arms, looking up at him a little shocked. 

"Are you okay? You sounded conflicted on the phone." Looking down at me with those dark chocolate eyes making me melt into his embrace.

I shake my head, smiling a little. "I'm better now that your here," wrapping my arms around his middle. He chuckles, chin on my head. "Do you want to go swimming with me?" I ask shyly, a wide grin on my face as he nods frantically at me. Grabbing his hand, I sling my bag over my shoulder and interlock our fingers- blushing hard as I drag him down the path to the water.

Once at the water, we broke off to find a place to change- opting behind large trees so we could undress privately. I tuck my dry clothes, binder, and shoes into my bag with my phone, hanging the bag on the limb of the tree as I walk over to him. I have on just women shorts and a simple tank top and he is standing there in just his briefs- blushing hard as I scan over the tan muscles.

"Just how I imagined it," I whisper, hand clamped to my mouth after realizing I spoke out loud. 

He chuckles, grinning. "So you imagined me like this?" I blush harder. "Its okay, I imagined you too," he purred, pausing for a moment. "Well, with... less though." 

Yeah, now I know I must look like a tomato, my arms subconsciously covering over my chest some. "Oh?" I bite my lip, shrugging off the drop in my stomach as I dash off and jump into the water, diving under for a few seconds- coming up giggling. The waters cold but refreshing all at the same time. Its dark with the sunlight sparkling on the top and I can reach the bottom of the tips of my toes. 

He smiles at me, laughing as he jumps in after me- splashing at him as he comes up and swimming as he gives chase. Finding a submerged rock, I sit on it, still, most of my body is under the water. He catches me, arms wrapping around my waist as his chuckles calm. Both of our faces smiling, this being the most fun I had in a while.

His eyes connect with mine and eyelashes drooping some as he leans in slowly, I nervously meet him in the middle as our lips meet. It's soft and sweet, taking my breath away- my first kiss. His hand is cupping my jaw as his lips move, I try to copy his- knowing that mine are far too clumsy.

I sigh when he finally pulls away, a dopey smile on my face. "This feels so right, just being here with you," he whispers, kissing me again with more force- tongue running across the line of my lips. Nervously, I allow him to the entrance after a moment- his tongue running hot and wet along the roof of my mouth before rubbing my own, tilting his head to push his tongue in farther. We continue for a minute, whimpering and groaning as his hand trails downward and pawing at my breast-pulling back, my lips feel as slick and swollen as his looks. Pulling his hand off me. "Dotachin, we can't. We made a promise- I made a promise to myself that I am not willing to break, so please," I whisper, feeling bad for the look of dejection on his face.

Well, he knew- way before coming here he knew.

He mumbles his apology and giving my forehead a quick peck. I giggle, kissing his lips quickly before diving under the water swimming to check out the cave entrance- him following close after me.

"Wow, this is amazing," I gasp, looking around the cave- a hole directly above in the ceiling allowing the sun to shine in like a spotlight and making the pale green water sparkle like diamonds. I swim to a small ledge of rocks, climbing up to see a flat stone surface littered with blankets and empty bottles of beer. Shivering I wrap up in one of the blankets, drawing my knees up.

Dotachin climbs up, shivering as well as he gets under the blanket as well, arm wrapped around me to help us warm up; leaning my head on his shoulder. "I'm having a lot of fun today, I really needed this. Thank you, " I mumble with a small smile. He replies turning my head so I can face him, his lips on mine instantly and tongue begging entrance. I refuse, sticking with just lightly moving my lips so I don't give him the wrong idea. Not even noticing, he is bringing us to lay side by side on the stone as he works his lips against mine, too distracted to feel his sly hand moving until they are back on my breasts, thumbing at my hard nipple through the fabric.

I whimper, enjoying the feeling but know I can't let this continue, I have to stop him. 

I do just that, pushing him away gently on the chest, "Stop, please. If you want to kiss, fine, but I'm not ready to be touched, okay?"

He pulls away nodding. 

"I think we should go, it'll be getting late soon," I say, unwrapping the blanket- moving to get back in the water only to be brought back, him kissing me hard and firmly pushing me on the ground, his body covering mine. I can feel his hard cock pressing hard against my inner thigh causing me to panic some- trying to calm down, reminding myself that I trust him. 

He wouldn't do anything to me.

Right?

I get my answer far too quickly as he slides his briefs down and trying to pull my shorts down. I'm panicking, shoving hard against him and pleading for him to stop, as he rubs his hard member against me. He pins my wrists in one hand, the other covering my mouth from screaming- tears running down the side of my face as I continue to thrash for my freedom, he is barking about not touching himself for a year, how he will make me feel good.

 _Go jack off then,_ I think, wishing I could just spit it in his face. I cry harder knowing I'm about to be raped, knowing I'm not even strong enough to escape my fate. I thrash harder, kicking at his back and throwing up my elbows, shoving my head up to try to headbutt him- anything. He growls harshly at me, shoving the back of my head onto the stone by my jaw- the throbbing in my head and his sad attempt of a sorry is all I know as my mind blanks for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment if you like, thoughts, or see any mistakes. I try to get them all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is short. and Terrible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:: rape. Description mutations

My vision is fuzzy and I feel the faint trailing over my body, confused for a few seconds as to where I am. I feel my legs and hips being lifted, shiver from the cold air to quickly be coated in warm. My head rolling across the hard surface, aching and wet. I grunt out, not knowing if I'm actually saying words or not.

I'm knocked out of my stupor full force as I feel the swift, searing burn in my vagina- my eyes flying open wide with a look of terror, realizing Dotachin is above me and shoving my legs apart as he is shoving something else into me. I'm pushing hard at him, screaming for him to stop as he thrusts even further into me- being spread open wide and burning like I'm being stabbed with a fireplace poker. I feel him burying to a hilt, his hips pressing hard against the back of my thighs as I shake from the pain wracking my lower body, tears running nonstop.

I push harder, hit harder. "Stop Dotachin, please! You're hurting me!" I continue to scream as he pulls back, spearing harder into as I sob and fight against him. Pushing with all my might, clenching my muscles as hard as I can in hopes of keeping him from being able to continue his assault. 

The pain is intense and I feel my internal muscle clamp down harder, finally feeling him stop- but something else is wrong. His whole body is shaking, the look of terror on his face like he is the one being raped instead.

I'm so confused and scared, he lets out a pained sob, gasping like he can't catch his breath.

"What? What's wrong? Dotachin, what?" I start to panic all over again, but for a new reason. He isn't responding with words, just pained gasps. I shove him away harshly, feeling him rush out of my body with some resistance as a blood-curdling scream leaves his lips.

I look down at him, my eyes wide and I freeze for a second, not able to understand what is going on. His crotch and thighs running freely with blood as he grasps at where his cock used to be.

Use to be?

Where did it go?!

I crawl back, the bloody length of his manhood lay on the stone floor- the blood pulsing out the jagged tore flesh. I feel the scream ripping out of my throat, sobbing uncontrollably. He reaches for me but I kick him away, terrified and confused- he turns, gasping in pain and jumping back into the water to leave quickly.

I call out his name, my fear of him but my fear is also for him as the puddle of blood he left behind trails in my direction. I force my pained body to crawl to the edge, looking back at the lump of mutilated flesh left behind, sobbing harder.

Despite my pain, my heart burns- my want for him to be okay burning hotter than my own well being. I know he won't be, he left that evidence behind on the cold stone behind me. 

After what feels like forever and the tears subside, I slide into the water, swimming as fast as I can to my clothes and dressing without a second thought. I'm running, running so fast. His car is still here, the foreboding in my stomach makes me feel like I am drowning. I turn, running as fast as I can home.

*~*~*~*

Making it home, the pain still hasn't subsided- limping through the threshold.  I drop my bag at the door.

"Mom? Dad?" I whimper, not receiving an answer I limp to my room, curling in my bed with a pained sob- tears still finding their way down my face and hiccups making my shoulders jerk uncontrollably.

I hear the floors creak behind me, making me freeze in fear.

"Izaya?" I hear Shizu-chan whispering, he almost sounds concerned. "What's wrong, Izaya?" I feel the bed dipping behind me, the fear making me tremble and sob hard. I flinch away hard as he gathers me in his arms, petting my hair. Eventually, my sobs stop and my shaking lessens as I pass out in his arms to him whispering 'sorry' over and over in my hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this, leave a comment or kudos. 
> 
> Also, as I said before. Not sorry. I regret nothing.
> 
> :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short chapter.

 

_Dotachin._

_Where are you?_

_I drop to the ground with my knees tucked to my chest- I can't find him. The cloud of worry lay thick around my aching heart. I see flashes of him, everywhere yet nowhere at the same time._

_I feel the ghost-like grip on my wrists, tugging harshly and the pressing against my lips keeping me from calling out._

_The phantom pains in my lower region feel like the licking of flames, hot and searing._

_Dotachin. Why?_

_I'm sorry._

_I keep going. No answer comes. I'm all alone, I feel like I'm suffocating._

_I'm scared._

_But why?_

_Squeezing my eyes shut- regretfully. The look of horror on his face flashing behind my eyelids like lightning, a jolt to the system- why?_

_I try to get away, running into blackness- the image assaulting with every close of my eyelids, the blood curling scream rips through all of my senses; clinching my ears so tight, the tears leaking down my cheeks._

_I feel frozen to my spot, trying to jerk away, my wrists held tight in the invisible grasp- trying to rip away so I can run away, the scream ripping out of my throat as I struggle._

_Please, no. Don't._

_Why?_

 

My body is jerking awake hard, the scream ripping out of my lungs as I struggle out of the tight embrace, panic rising as I fight to free myself with a sob on my lips.

I hear the frantic voice, trying to get me to relax as I struggle harder. Pulling harder as my head is pushing harder onto his chest.

"Calm down, Izaya. It's just me," he holds onto me firmly.

Looking up to look at him, "Shizu-chan?" I whimper, finally pulling out of his arms, memories come flooding in and I feel sick. Nauseous.

I run to the bathroom and embracing the toilet bowl as I begin to dry heave into the porcelain. Nothing but acidic bile and water coming up.

Shizu-chan comes up behind me, rubbing between my shoulders as I continue to sob and heave, but I'm screaming and pleading for him to leave, begging to be left alone-thankfully he complies.

The trembling sob leaves my lips, alone. All alone now.

What's wrong with me?

I'm a monster.

Unclean.

Impure.

Scum

I strip and jump in the shower, ignoring how the blistering spray has me screaming out in pain. I deserve this.

Cleanse this monster. Unclean beast. Impure succubus.  

The heat of the water plus the aggressive scrubbing at my skin turns it bright red, trying to erase his touch from my body. Erase the monster inside me. Heavy tears mixing with the water along with traces of blood from both the back of my head and from between my thighs. I claw at the tile, my fingernails starting to strain and bleed from the force.

Monster.Monster.Monster.

 *~*~*~*

((((His chest burns and aches as he listens to his raven's pained sobs. He doesn't understand what happened, it scares the hell out of him- who could have caused him to act this way?

 _Was it me?_ He asked himself.  _No._

He heard him gasping a name in his sleep, it must have been him. What did he do? 

His hand clenching into a fist, shaking as he continues to hear Izaya cry uncontrollably. ))))

*~*~*~*

I finally calm, eyes sore and puffy- not even sure if I have any tears left. My skin is bright red and raw, wrapped tightly in a body towel. 

I nervously toying with the edge of my towel, right at the lining of my vagina. The mirror in front of me reflecting back, judging me. My eyes looking back down at me, heavy with sorrow. Shame.

I go to spread my thighs and raise the towel, quickly snapping my legs tightly shut out of fear.

I can't do it.

*~*~*~*

I stare at my wall full of drawings and photographs. There was one of me and mom, Seiji and Namie, and off to the corner was a small school photo of Kadota that Seiji gave to me.

It had made me so happy to received it, now that seems so foolish. The pain in my heart enrolling, filling with poison.  I feel the anger bubbling up, finally burst through and tearing down my resolve.

With no more control over myself, I'm tearing everything from my wall down- ripping it all to shreds with frustration. Pictures, drawings, notes- they all lay on the floor now, in pieces. I don't stop there, tearing through and shoving everything off my dresser and on to the cold floor below.

As I'm done with my fit I run and dive under the blankets, too afraid to sleep, as I curl into a ball and pulling the fabric as tight as I can over my head, shaking. I start to crumble, fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link from where I found picture:: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/56/ff/c8/56ffc847ad31f2fd9258562042f492a0.jpg
> 
> Did not draw it myself.  
> Thanks
> 
> If you enjoy or see mistakes, leave comments and kudos!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The speech was left kind of the same as the movie reference. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy

 

 

I feel the warmth encasing me before I even open my eyes, calmer this time as I look up at the blonde mop of hair at my neck- his arms wrapped securely around my waist with a warm flat hand pressing on my exposed stomach. I gently pushed his hand away to pull my shirt over my belly and try to shift out of his arms, just to have them flex tighter as he snuggles my back in his sleep.

"Shizu-chan? Get up, let me up protozoan," I gently nudging his shoulder with my hand- he grumbles, pressing his lips to my shoulder as he mumbles something incoherently and presses his body up against me- freezing as I feel his morning wood dig into my backside.

Panicking, I struggle and trying to squirm;  disgusted by him moaning in my neck as I accidentally pushing back against him and he starts to grind against me hard. I cry out, shoving back at him until I break his hold and crawling to the edge of my bed away from him. I shove a pillow in his arms as he reaches out at where I was, grasping it in his arms, and rolling his hips at it whining.

Blushing hard at the tenting in his pants, eyes widening when some of him is sliding out the slit of pajama bottoms.

Gasping, I rush out with my clothes in my arms to get dressed.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*

 "Come on, Izaya. Whatever the problem is, it'll be okay, yeah," Namie says, turning back in her seat as Seiji continues to drive with the wind whipping around our heads from the vehicle top being let down. I cross my arms, looking out the side window. "Look, just remember to speak from the heart and everything will go just fine. Though I wish you would just tell us what's wrong." she signs, grumbling.

 _I can't,_ I think to myself sadly.

"Hey, even Kadota will be there. That should be exciting right?" Seiji purrs causing me to jump up, hopeful. 

I hadn't heard from him since yesterday, too terrified to contact him myself but hoping to at least hear something- anything to let me know he was okay.

"Really? When did you talk to him," I ask, far too rushed? I feel my heart racing.  _Please, just let him be okay._

"I don't know, a couple of days ago. I mentioned you were speaking again and he said he wanted to be there. I can tell he really likes you, Izaya-kunnn," I see him grinning from the rear view mirror but I avert my eyes from him as I feel a single tear rolling down my cheek.

_Please._

*~*~*~*~*~*

 "Hi, everyone. I'm Izaya- Miss Sturluson wanted me to come today to talk to you about purity-," the word taste like ash on my tongue and I feel dizzy, the headache from crying all night long throbbing hard against my skull.

The crowd chants together, "Purity. Purity!"

I knead my eyebrows together, trying to block out the pain. "Yeah?" I gasp my breath. "And yesterday... I could have done just that, talk about it because," I feel the sting at my eyes and the burn in my throat as I try not to vomit. "Yesterday, I was pure. Now..."

The crowd chanting again in a foreboding unison. "'She shall be called a woman because she was taken out of the man,'" as they quote the biblical lines at me. Feeling the sting in my chest.

"Adam?" I question but nod to myself as well, though I never were one for religions. "It just doesn't make any sense. Is that what it is all about? Is it the Adam hiding inside, inside of-," I whimper as they continue quoting at me, shivers running down my spine.

"'Bone of my bones, the flesh of my flesh.'"

"What?! I don't know. I don't know!" I try holding back a sob, my vision feels like its swaying from the pain. "But what is it? There is something there. Inside me. Lethal, a monster. What-," I let the sob slip out. I feel like everything is spinning and becoming disoriented.

"The serpent."

"Snake."

"Is that what it is? The devil?"

Their voices waving, growing louder- far too loud. "'The serpent beguiled me, and I ate." 

Miss Sturluson rushes over, taking the mic from my trembling hands and whispering for me to go sit down as she takes over. "I think what Izaya-kun was trying to say is a very important message about how easy it is for someone for to be exiled for the garden, the  sway in our choices we make can turn us into something we know we are not."

The crowd keeps chanting though,  _its like they know. How couldn't they, with the filthy unclean beast in front of them?_

"Serpent. Serpent. Beast. Refuse to eat." The coiling around my heart tightens and I rush away, hands over my ears. I just want to hide.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Watching from the sidelines for what felt like hours as young teenagers and children danced about without a care, I stay curled into a tight ball- breath in, breath out.  _Don't panic._

I feel a body slide next to me, looking up at the boy in glasses with a big lopsided grin on his face.

"What are you doing here, Shinra-kun?" I give him a questionable look as he pushes up his glasses.

"Oh, you know. Just wanted to check out the scene and whatnot," he smiles at me, feel him running his gaze all over me.

I sigh, "This isn't your kind of thing, why would you want to come?" Slouching my shoulders with my chin on my knees.

"Maybe I came to see someone," he smiles, twirling his finger aimlessly to the crowd of bodies. "But who knows~."

"Hm. Sure." 

"So would you-," he starts as I cut him off.

"Hey, you have a car right?"

"Y-yeah, why?"

I get up, grabbing his hand. "Take me home, please. I don't want to be here anymore," I ask and he nods and clinches my hand as he shows me the way.

*~*~*~*

We slowly pull up the front of the house, I look at my home with mixed emotions.

"Thank you for taking me home Shinra-kun." I give him what I hope is a smile.

"Of course. If you ever want someone to talk to let me know," he slides a piece of paper with his number on it and places it into my hand. "Or you know, if you want to hang out or go on... a date with me?" 

_A date with me? A date with a monster? How absurd._

Without meaning to I give a small laugh at that, instantly apologizing for being rude. I wrap my arms around him as a quick hug and thank him again before jumping out of the car.

Once he is gone, I start running, not even looking back.

*~*~*~*

((((The bespectacled boy grumbles annoyed, fist tight on the steering wheel. _What the hell was he laughing about?  Was I asking him out really so damn funny?_

He turns around determined to find out, feeling a turn in his gut at the reaction.

He returns, rushing to the door and pounding on it impatiently. Shortly it opens to a grumpy blonde still in pajamas.

Resting his forearm on the door frame, snaring.  "What the hell do you want?"  He growls, clearly just waking up.

"O-oh. I'm here for Izaya-kun." He stutters.

Clicking his tongue in annoyance, but snorts at the boy. "Yeah, I don't think so. You don't have a chance in hell with him" 

"Excuse me?"

"I'm saying get the fuck off my porch and leave my  _brother_ alone. He is out of your league. He needs a man, not a whimper." He gives the boy a shove but he comes back, pissed and calling out for the boy in question- soon falling to the ground clutching his eye from where the blonde punched him, turning on the heel and slamming the door shut.))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picture info: http://i1179.photobucket.com/albums/x397/Konori-Ruiko/684801.jpg


	11. Chapter 11

 

Wind blowing through my hair making me shiver, gripping my arms tight. I check out his car, signs showing that it hasn't been moved in the last day or so, the top littered with leaves and fallen tree nuts. My chest clinches, rubbing nervously at my arms.

I walk down the path to the water's edge, not even caring about taking off my clothes, just sitting my shoes and phone on a large rock before diving in fully clothed. The weight of the wet clothes holds me down, luckily the water isn't that deep. I swim until I'm inside the cave, clenching my eyes shut tight as bits of memories flash before me- the familiar sting at my eyes.

I look around for any sign of him being here until my eyes land on it. I can't control the scream, not as I watch two small crabs fighting over the once attached lump of flesh, now starting to dry out from the lack of circulation and moisture. 

I pant, huffing sob rattle my chest as I turn tail to leave, losing my footing to slip into the deep edge of the water in my frenzy to leave- gathering my balance and swimming out of the cave and lake. 

I climb out, sitting on the large rock shaking uncontrollably from both the chill of the water but the scene,  _I have a bad feeling..._

I whimper, bottom lip shaking as I ball myself into a ball, the sounds of the woods echoing loudly. Birds chirping without a care, humming of the insects getting louder by the second causing my head to throb.

After a while I become numb. Numb to the cold, to the wind whipping around my lithe body, numb to the amplified sounds. Numb to the burning ache in my chest.

Just numb.

Numb and blank.

Slipping on my shoes and grabbing my phone to slide in my back pocket. I stand on the edge of the rock, looking down into the murky shadowed waters below me, twisting the small ring on my finger as it slips off. I roll it mindlessly between my fingertips before ultimately dropping it into the waters below, turn and leave without a second glance at it.

*~*~*~*

I lay across my stomach with my laptop propped up in front of myself, the search engine pulled up and the search text is blinking.

I begin my search looking up vaginas. Most of the photos pornographic, pulling up the diagram of the vagina- kneading my eyebrows in disgust as I look the diagram and down at my lower half. 

"Eww... ugh," I shudder, clicking out of the diagram. 

I begin to search for adaptation or common mutations, nothing useful comes up in the search. I choose to narrow it down further  _'female reproductive mutations'_

Bingo.

Site after site of the same information. The same general story just tweaked here and there.

"'The vagina dentata, the Latin word meaning, 'The toothed vagina,''" I stop, shuddering. I continue to mumble aloud to myself.

"In some countries, the tale of the vagina dentata was used to discourage young men to not be involved in nonconsensual touch or rape of a female for the fear of male castration  or penile injury.'"

"That's a pretty messed up children's story, wonder if it worked," I sigh.

Scrolling down further, I start again. "In other countries, the woman beast, nicknamed the Terrible mother, was known for wielding the vagina dentata and title of a man-eater- to save the village and return the Terrible mother back to a woman, a hero must come forth to do 'battle with the toothed creature and concur the beast."' Scrolling down more, most of the stories are the same.

Hinduism.  Japan's Ainu and Shinto legends. Māori mythology. Native American tale of America.

A hero to concur with the beast.

Save the woman.

"What the fuck does that even mean?!," I scream in frustration, gripping on the sides of my hair. The image of the female statue with legs wide open to display a mouth like a vagina with shark-like teeth- I gasp, closing my laptop.

_I have to know..._

*~*~*~*

Flipping my phone open, 6:35 pm blaring brightly at me as I flip it back closed. I shift uncomfortably in the plastic seat, crossing my legs at the ankle.

"Miss. Heiwajima? Dr. Haruya will see you now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vagina dentata is some truth and some I just made up. No real quoting from any source. Just wanted to make it seem like he was quoting from them. Here are the sites I did use of additional information though.
> 
> https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina_dentata
> 
> https://www.google.com/amp/s/broadly.vice.com/amp/en_us/article/payq79/pussy-bites-back-vagina-dentata-myths-from-around-the-world
> 
>  
> 
> Comment if you like, find mistakes, questions, etc.
> 
> Thank you!
> 
>  
> 
> Photo http://i1179.photobucket.com/albums/x397/Konori-Ruiko/684801.jpg


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning non medical amputation. death.

 

_"Miss Heiwajima? Dr. Haruya will see you now."_

I jump at the sudden noise and call of my name. I get up nodding and following the nurse in through the doors and into the patient exam room. She was older, motherly type and pulp but that just gave her the sweet older lady look- made me comfortable as she took my vitals, next my height and weight- mumbling about how I could do with some weight gain.

She hands me a thin sheet, "Here, you need to strip from the waist down- you can put your clothes on the chair there," she points to the corner. "The sheet just keeps you cover and comfortable." 

She gives me a smile and squeezes my shoulder, "You will do just fine, don't worry. The doctor should be in shortly. "

I smile back and mumble thanks as she leaves the room.

The door clothes and I strip down, only leaving my shirt and binder on- sitting uncomfortably on the protective paper covering the exam table, legs closed with my elbows on my knees and head in hands- trying to calm my breathing as I feel my anxiety start to pick up. 

I sit there for what feels like forever, which was really only about five minutes before I hear the knock on the door and it slides open.

The doctor walks in with chart in hand, his short dark hair is cut choppy and sharp- the deep lines running down his cheeks give him a serious face despite the kind smile on his lips.

"So, Miss Heiwajima, right?" I nod. "The first name is...,"

"Um, Erika, sir."  _Okay, so I lied._

"Right. Well, I'm Dr. Haruya Shiki. So what brings you in today? Birth control?"

Shaking my head. "No, no birth control. I just wanted to get a check-up, you know, make sure everything is normal and there isn't something that shouldn't be there. Just wanting to be aware of my health is all."

"Ah, I see. Well, I am sure everything will be just fine but let's take a look anyway. This is your first time right?" I nod again. "You don't know what to expect to do you?" I shake my head, nervous "Okay, I'll take good care of you, don't worry. I won't bite, promise." His lips curl back and I try to ignore his gaze on me, making me shift oddly.

I whisper okay and he instructs me to lay on my back. I obey. "Good," he purrs, "Now, feet go into the footies here, good girl." His praises making my stomach turn but I do my best to ignore them.

"Now slide down lower until your butt is at the edge of the table, okay," he turns to slide over a long lamp as I slowly shift down the table, becoming impatient he puts his hands on my hips to help me slide faster causing me to yelp.

He chuckles, "Sorry if I surprised you. Now," he flips on the lamp and pushing my shaky legs apart until they are wide open and I look away, red-faced. "Wonderful, now I'm just going to take a few samples with these," he is holding up a cotton stick and something that looked like a tiny toothbrush. He swiped quickly with the swab and the brush went inside and scraped my cervix, it was annoying and irritating but not painful and he was quick.

"This next one is going to be a bit cold, warning," he says, I feel the slide of cold steel inside of me, gasping as it widens up- holding my breath. After a few seconds, he closes it and slides it out. "Looks good so far. Are you sexually active?"

"No......I mean, yes?" I stutter my answer.

He raises an eyebrow, "This is a judgment-free room, okay?" He smiles and I nod, "Is there any reason for concerns that you can think of?"

I shift, "I just feel like something weird is going on, you know, inside. I just want to be sure." 

He chuckles, "I think I know exactly what you are going through."

"You do?" I perk up, watching him get up from his chair to pull off his gloves and wash his hands.

"Yeah. What your going through is normal, exchanges and abnormal feelings are all part of the process of womanhood." He sits back down, positioning the light between my legs more. "Now, we are going to test your reflex," he says, half smirking as he lubricates his fingers.

"Now, just relax and breath," and he slides all four fingers in quickly, pushing hard. I gasp, trying hard to relax against the burning pain. He spreads his fingers, humming and sliding them out some and back in, my muscle straining to keep from clinching. "So tight. Now fight against the pain," he purrs, rubbing my inner thigh- I'm hoping to calm me.

It isn't working though, it's painful and burning. "I can't, it hurts. Stop," I plead. He only pushing in further, my muscles finally clinching around the intruding digits.

"Hey, what's in here?" He pushing in further, feeling around. "What in the hell..," I pressed hard against my inner walls and I gasp in pain and clench hard against him, the look of shock and pain on his face. 

"No, no no no...." I whisper over and over again, his fingers still shoved deep inside and not coming out as he pulls, almost pulling me completely off the table from his force. He is grunting in pain, and I twist my body and pull hard until I feel him sliding out finally, as he gasps in pain- all our fingers are removed above the knuckle, freely bleeding as he wraps them in the hem of his shirt. I look down to see the missing fingers on the floor by my feet, blood dripping down my thighs. I gasp out a scream, grabbing my clothes and shoving them on faster than I ever had. 

Shaking as I hear him starting to scream 'vagina dentata' over and over in a terrified voice, I sob and run as fast as I can out of the doctor's office.

I run and run, my shoes clinched tight in my embracing arms and my feet feel raw from the asphalt scraping under them as I keep myself going. My breathing is heavy and tears running down my flush cheeks. After what feels like forever, I hear the sound of sirens behind me making me freeze up under they are speeding past me without a second glance. 

I recognize the direction they are going and follow.

It takes me a half hour on foot to arrive at the spot, hiding behind the trees as I watch at least 10 police officers search the woods and lake that I last saw him. Gasping as I watch them pull his lifeless body from the dark waters, flashlights all shining on his body through the dark of night. 

My tears renew and my heart drops.  _I killed him..._

_Dotachin._

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

It's almost 10:30 at night by the time I finally walk through the door. After I broke down, I forced myself to leave- not wanting to see any more of the horrors I have caused.

I hear the blaring of my brother's music, his door jarred and the scene of him fornicating with his girlfriend makes my stomach turn. I turn around to see my mother on the floor unconscious- dropping to my knees screaming for his help that never comes. I pull out the phone, calling for emergency services and sobbing, making sure she has a pulse and breathing- shaking until the ambulance arrives to take her to the hospital. 

My brother not once noticing what is going on as he continues his act.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So smuttyness. Crying. Yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when in third person, Italics is Izaya

 

 

The echo of screams has me jerking up from my sleeping position on my father's thigh, his hand petting through my hair in a calming fashion. Humming as I look up at him, stretching from the god-awful position of the hospital chairs. "You sleep okay, hunny?" He asks, pressing his lips to my temple.

I shrug with a yawn. "Any news about Mom yet?" He shakes his head. 

"Why don't you go home and get some rest, I'll call as soon as I hear anything, yeah? Go rest up," he smiles, cupping my cheek. I nodded, hugging him and kissing his cheek as I leave.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Upon arriving at the house, the front door is still wide open from when the paramedics came- the loud blaring of music still pounding inside along with the aggressive fighting from inside from my brother and his girlfriend. The sound of things being thrown and screams of anger- scared and not wanting to be here any longer, I grab my jacket from inside the front door and leave. Find somewhere to go, someone to talk to.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I don't know why I am here, I just felt like I needed to come here.

This is stupid, right? Why would he care about my problems? He won't, right? But I need someone right now, someone to talk to. To clear my mind of these thoughts- confess my sins before I go away.

Yes. I had made up my mind on the walk over. I would turn myself over to the authorities, get this monster off the streets for once.

Sucking in a deep breath, I knock hard on the apartment door. Knocking again when no one answers. The shuffling of feet inside and soon the door cracks open, the half-asleep boy looks up at me as he rubs under his glasses. "Izaya-kun? What are you doing here so late?" 

I shift nervously, "Can I come in?" I chew on my bottom lip, he smiles and pushes the door open more to let me in. "Thanks."

"Yeah, of course. Is something wrong," he asks, walking to one of the bedrooms- following him. He quickly fixing the blankets on the bed, patting it for me to sit down on. "Did you want to talk," he asks, almost playfully as I sit next to him on the bed, only now noticing how badly I have been shaking- he is wrapping his arms around my shoulder as I begin to cry and babble, allowing myself to welcome the warmth of his arms.

"Shinra-san. My mom's in the hospital- I found her on the floor and they aren't telling us anything at all. I'm scared, I don't want to lose her. I didn't know who else I could come to talk to," I hiccup from my sob, his hand rubbing my back and 'shushing' me to calm down.  Between my mom,  I start thinking of Dotachin,  only sobbing harder as I confess.  "It was me. I killed him- almost another, I have to turn myself in- its the right thing to do right?" 

"You killed someone," he asks, confused. "Calm down, you`re not making sense."

"I killed him-I mean,  it did. Inside me. The doctor even confirmed it's there." Covering my face with my hands in frustration. "I feel like I'm losing my mind, Shinra-san."

"Wait, what are you talking about," he mumbles low.

"The dentata-"

"The what, what?"

"It means teeth and vagina, that's-"

"Yeah, I know what vagina means-,"

"It's what is inside of me. They all keep saying I have to find a hero to concur it. To destroy the teeth. What the hell does that mean?! I have to have someone concur my cunt, what the actual fuck?! None of it makes any sense!" I half yell, groaning and pulling my bangs tightly in my fists.

"Who? Who keeps saying that?"

"The early Greeks? Ancient Japanese. Egyptians. Christians. Native American tribes-," I sob as I continue to list.

His embrace tightens and he presses my face to his chest. "It's okay. Just breathe, it's going to be all okay." He continues to comfort me, letting me get it all out of my system as I cling to his nightshirt, mumbling 'sorry' into the fabric.

After I finally calm down, he offers to make me something to eat and drink- nodding as I curl up on the end of his bed, eyes burning and red. At least the crying has stopped, I feel almost numb. _Almost_. I flip open my phone from my pocket, checking if I received any news from Dad- sighing as I close it, Shinra coming in with a tray- a glass of water and a simple sandwich. I thank him as I nibble on it, not really tasting it.

"You know after you're done- you're more than welcome to use to the bath. It might help you calm your nerves some. If you needed somewhere to stay, I can pull out an extra futon for you. If you want."

I nod, finishing off the food and drinking half of the glass. He leads me to the bathroom across from his room, starting to draw the tub for me as I sit on the toilet seat, silently. "Thank you. For everything, and not throwing me out." I smile at him, even if it is a little bit sad. Smiling, he gets up, kissing the top of my head and whispering "You`re welcome" as he leaves.

I undress after he leaves, throwing my clothes in pile by the door- once I'm fully nude, I slide my toes into the soothing warmth of the tub, snuggling comfortably once my whole body is embraced in the liquid cocoon. Once the water is high enough, I turn it off-humming quietly to myself. Not too long, I hear the knock on the door and its opening, I'm covering myself the best that I can.

"Oh, sorry, I brought you these though. My dad takes them to help him relax his nerves." He smiles, handing me two small pills. Sighing, I thank him and grab to pills, swallowing them down dry and he leaves to let me go back to my bath.

It doesn't take long before I feel the effects of the pill, my muscles feel loose and relaxed and the odd heat flushing over my body, making a strange half giggle half moan- pinching my thighs together. A small smile on my lips, the heat, and sensitivity leaving me with a strange aroused feeling.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

((The bespectacled boy smirks from behind the door, listening to the soft gasp and moan from the raven inside; the sedative and aphrodisiac clearly beginning to kick in. He rushes to his bedroom, lighting candles around to the room and pouring two glasses of white wine that he found in the cabinets, turning the lights down low as he waits for the raven to return.

Yes. Everything was just perfect. He smiles, sitting on the edge of the bed.

 _The heat finally becoming too much for me, I slowly get out of the tub and dry off, wrapping in a towel as I can't seem to find my clothes at the moment. Opening the door and going into the bedroom, I noticed the dimness, candle heads flickering all around. "Shinra-san?" I_ _finally see him on the bed, smiling at me. Smiling back too. "Wheres my clothes at," I ask, slightly giggling._

_I hear him say he washed them, he sounds far away despite being right in front of me. He leads me to sit on the bed with him, my balance swaying causing me to grasp his shoulders to keep from falling, one of his arms around my waist- embarrassingly moaning at the touch. He just smiles at me, helping me sit down and handing me a glass of light color liquid, the scent is overly sweet. He sits next to me, his glass in hand sipping it._

_Looking around the room, I feel kind of an ache in my chest. Not being able to stop me from talking. "I always imagined my first time would be something like this- candle lights and wine. Oh. Sorry-," gasping as some of the wine spills down my chest._

_"It's alright," he coos, taking my glass from me and slowly pulling the top of the towel undone. "Can't waste this wine, now can we?"_

He smirks as the rough fabric comes loose, instantly latching onto his chest- licking up the spilled wine on flesh, listening to the raven moaning- licking and sucking the wine that ran down his breasts and over his nipple. He swirls his tongue around the sweet, alcohol-infused bud, Izaya arches into his mouth gasping and cursing under his breath.

_Hot. So hot, so good. My mind feels like mush as he continues to suck on my nipple, the feel of his hand massaging my other tit. I moan, so hot. I feel my body sinking down until my back is on the blankets and my head resting on pillows. He switches, sucking gently on my other nipple- his hand mapping out the curves and dips of the body, pulling the towel completely free, laying there bare for his hungry, the pupil is blown eyes to devour in his gaze._

Soaking in the flush porcelain skin, so beautifully laid out for him to devour. Pink nipples turned dark and almost red from the attack he had done on them.  He is leaning up, capturing the raven's lips with his own, kissing him slow and passionately.  He slides in between pale legs, tongue running across the line of his lips to be accepted and plunging deep into his mouth, sucking and wrapping his tongue together. The sweet moans being devoured in the heated kiss,  his hand running down his abdomen and to his vagina, thumb circling over the oversensitive clitoris.

  _I can't stop my filthy moans, it feels too good.  The feel of him toying with my clit sends electricity throughout my overly hot body and my mind is clouded with lust and from the pills. Arching and moaning, rolling my hips to get more of his touch on my cunt. "Fuck," I curse, his fingers sliding inside of me and out, fingering me with two well-slicked digits and thumbing my clit. He's driving me wild, so hot, rolling my hips down to meet his fingers.  I continue to fuck myself on his digits, gasping as I feel the build-up hits me. "Shi-Shinra. I'm cu-cumming," I gasp, his fingers working me more until I'm moaning, my orgasm flooding over me so hard my knees are shaking, panting heavy against his lips as he finishes working me through my orgasm._

He slides his wet fingers out, licking them clean. As the raven is recovering from his moment of bliss, Shinra strips out of his clothing and crawling back between the others legs. Giving himself a few strokes as he is reaching over to the nightstand and pulling out a condom and lube- applying both quick and clumsy. He positions himself at the raven's opening, nudging his head-making sure it's okay to continue.

Izaya tenses up, putting his hands on Shinra's chest and shaking his head. "Shinra, no. It'll get you!"

Thinking of something quick, Shinra leans down and gently kisses Izaya's lips and stroking his cheek. "You said you needed a hero to concur it, right? Let me be your hero, Izaya. Let me help you win this," he purrs, continuing to stroke the others cheek. After a moment, Izaya agrees, nodding his head slowly. "Are you sure? I want to make sure you are okay with this. If you say no, we stop, okay?" He nods again, the blissful smile on his lips.

He positions the slim, pale legs over his hips as he begins to slowly push in, meeting some resistant from the tight entrance- holding back to let the other relax and catch his breath before continuing to push all the way in. Gently massaging the raven's hip and kissing up his neck, his muscles relaxing as he pulls back to the head and pushes back in, explicating a moan from both of them. After a minute or so of their slow pace, Shinra starts moving faster and harder- Izaya all but begging for him to keep going.

  _"Yes, f-fuck. Keep going, faster! mmm," I'm moaning as he starts piston into me, fist clinching onto the headboard like my life depended on it. His cock feels so good, sliding hot and heavy in and out of me. I can feel all my stress melting away, even if I still feel weak and fuzzy-minded. He's moaning in my ear, breath hot on the rolling sweat we are building up. I'm all but screaming in pleasure as he sucks on my nipple and thrusting hard and deep, his pelvis grinding deliciously against my clitoris and I'm so close, my lower abdomen is burning from the heat pooling there- flaming harder with every deep thrust._

_A few moments later, it's hitting me hard. "Shin-nrrra. I'm cumminnng, keep fucking me baby, fuckkk," as I cum hard around him, muscles quivering and toes curling with one last thrust, groaning my in my ear and I can feel his cock throbbing as he fills the condom, pecking my cheek as he pulls out and lays next to me, content smiles plastered on both our faces._

"That was.. amazing," he sighs happily, the raven nodding and cuddling into his side.

"Wait! Your still... you! No bits missing," He gasps in disbelief.

Adjusting his glasses, he giggles, "Warrior, baby, told you."

"I suppose. My hero," Izaya giggles, snuggling close- for once this week, he isn't afraid.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picture link  
> https://static.zerochan.net/DURARARA%21%21.full.980395.jpg


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at tags. all warnings are there.
> 
> This is the last chapter before the ending. I will be doing both the Original ending (maybe with a twist at the very end, cause I don't care for it) and an alternate ending.
> 
> I hope that you liked this so far and I am glad to have had everyone join me on this ride. I had fun writing this bit, and though it was sad and dark and sick. I am hoping to do something similar soon again, you know, basing off of a movie or series or such. if anyone has an idea or request, let me know ^_^
> 
> thank you to everyone that has read, comment, and kudo this! If you like my style of writing, you can check out my other stories if you haven't already!
> 
>  
> 
> <3

 

((Officer Kuzuhara Kinnosuke stands outside the corners lab, his notepad clinched in his fist as he eyes up the jagged triangle the mortician is holding up before him.

Clearing his throat, "So, what you're telling me is this poor boys penis was bitten off by a shark-ray crossbreed?" Shifting uncomfortably at the sight of the tooth.

"Well yes and no. This was what ultimately removed the boy's manhood- though wasn't the reason for his demise. What killed him was the shock making him pass out and drowning in the lake, this was just the catalyst.  Now, you look at the jagged shape, it looks like  that of a shark or ray but the DNA came back as a human."

"Human?" Raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, I know. I don't know what to make of it either," He gleams at the mysterious bit of porcelain. "Absolutely crazy."))

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

((The redheaded surgeon grins down at the man on the operating table, far too much amusement spilling on his lips.

"You sure you don't want to tell us what happened here, Dr. Haruya?" Finger twirling in the direction of the amputated digits on the tray beside him. "You weren't getting yourself finger deep into Yakuza tang, now were you?" He grins wider at the other man's hard glare. Haruya Shiki reaches above and places the mask over his own face, starting to go under.

"Dr. Mizuki, we are almost ready for you," the head nurse calls, tying the protective apron tight behind the doctor.))

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Next Morning

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Snuggling close, enjoying the feel of his skin against mine as he breathes out soft snores- kissing the tip of his nose, I reach up and pull off his glasses that he forgot and sitting them on the nightstand beside us. The soft light of the sun peeking through the curtains of his window, casting shadows along the walls. I smile thinking about how the night ended, I couldn't be happier at the moment.

I run my hand over his chest, feeling the start of muscle building up under the soft skin- fingers dancing down his abdomen and his hipbone, the brush of pubic hair tickles the pads of my fingertips. I bravely reaching lower, ghosting my hand over his semi-harden morning wood, wrapping my fingers around his length and giving it an experimental stroke, smirking at the gasp that leaves his sleeping lips. I kiss up and down his neck, sucking gently on the skin just like he did to me the night before, my hand moving up and down the soft flesh, rolling my thumb over the tip to smear beads of precum over his head. 

He shifts in his sleep, laying more on his back than his side. I'm kissing down his chest and stomach until I am sinking my whole body between his thighs, stroking his hard cock and giving the head a small lick, my face scrunching up at the weird taste of his bitter fluids. Ignoring it, I lick again, this time dragging my wet tongue along the bottom of his cock from the base to the tip, pulling the head into my waiting mouth to suck on it, tongue twirling around. He moans, bucking up his hips and his cock slides further past my lips and across my tongue towards my throat. Swallowing around his length, I start to bob my head up and down, understanding the basic concept of a blowjob. 

I start off clumsy at first, but once I get more comfortable with it, I bob more, taking it in more and more into my throat and swallowing and sucking his cock- my hands spiraling over his abdomen as I work his cock with my mouth. My lip is feeling stretched and jaw starts to ache, but pushing through it as I listening to his pleasured moans, the feel of his hands in my hair encouraging me to continue, looking up at his half-lidded eyes and a pleased smirk on his lips. 

"Fuck, Izay--yaa." He moans, rocking his hips gently up to meet my bobbing, stopping to swirl my tongue around him. I slide down, sucking on one of his balls- him grasping his cock to stroke as I switch to the other one. "Fuck, baby. I'm about to cum. Let me cum all over that beautiful face, please. Mmm," He moans and I nod, pulling back and licking once more before his hips stutter in his grasp, stroking hard and fast until the splash of hot, milky white is striping across my face- a mixture of disgust and arousal from being cummed on. He tugs one last time, the last of his spunk landing on my lips- licking them to sample a taste of his seed; trying not the cringe at the bitterness.

I give his softening tip a kiss and giggle as I climb up, he smiles blissfully at me. "God, you look so hot like that, covered in nothing but me." He groans, taking in the sight of his doing. "That was the greatest way to wake up, thank you for that. Want to take a shower, clean yourself up after that?"

I nod, giggling and I hop up and go to his shower, not even caring that I am running across his house bare ass and naked.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I feel fresh and new, standing naked in front of the mirror- the disgust for my body still strong, but I can at least enjoy the pleasures it offers until I can start my change, at least. I wrap up in a large towel, clinching the opening against my chest as the rough fabric droops down to show off all of my back to the swell of my ass, returning to the bedroom- Shinra sitting under the blanket, flipping through his phone as I return. I walk over to my clothes on the chair, pulling on my binder tight and locked into place and slipping on my shirt. His arms circle around my waist and pulling my back against his chest, kissing along my jaw and neck making me giggle. 

"And where do you think you are going, mister?"  Pulling me in to kiss my lips.

I let him, before pulling away with a sigh. "I still plan on turning myself into the police."

He whines, pressing his bare hips against my ass- is newly harden cock grinding between my cheeks as he moans in my ear. "Let me at least thank you for that wonderful blowjob earlier, nya~" he purrs in my ear and gripping my hips to make a point. I grin, rocking my hips back on him- loving the growl I receive. He pushes me up against the wall with my arms pressing on the drywall, bending over slightly as he slides inside of me with little resistance. He pulls out almost all the way before thrusting back in, his cock felt amazing sliding in and out of me at this angle, moaning and twisting some to pull him into a kiss as he fucks me so good against the wall, gasping as one hand reaches around to rub at my clit as he thrusts into me fast and deep. Swallowing up each other's moans, tongue wrestling for dominance. 

He pulls out and twirling me around, kissing hard- only pulling away to lead us back to the bed. He sits down with his back against the wall and pulls me over to straddle his hips, "Ride me, baby. I want to watch you bouncing on my cock," he growls, and I sink down on his member with a smirk on my lips- moan ripping for them as I drop down to meet his pelvis.

"Fuck, your cock feels so good," panting and pulling him by the back of his head to kiss again, lifting my hips and rocking back down on the heat of his cock. His hips are rising to meet me as I continue to bounce and grind on his member, his hands grasping hard at my ass as he buries himself deeper and deeper inside of me.

Just as the heat begins to build, his phone rings- picking it up as he continues to thrust up into me. He smirks, and I glare as he flips it open to greet the person on the other line. 

"What's up, asshole?"

Narrowing my eyes more as he continues to fuck me like nothing is even happening.

"Oh yeah, right now for your information." He chuckles. "Fine, here." He hands me the phone, I take it still fixing him with a glare.

"Hello?"

"Izaya?"

"Who wants to know, huh?!" I'm starting to get irritated now.

Shinra pulls the phone from me, "Now pay up fucker." And he hangs up, tossing the phone to the floor with a grin, pushing my hips down to thrust hard into me- but I'm getting far to pissed off to feel any pleasure from him.

"What the fuck was that?"

"Nothing." He looks up at me grinning. After a long pause and me glaring, he finally speaks back up. "We made a bet."

"Which was...?

"That I could... you know," grinding his cock inside me to drive the point home.

I'm livid. That's all I was?!

"All I am is a bet to you?" My chest aches, the pain of betrayal and the sting of tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

"Yes, and no. It was for a bet, but I do like you- well, at least fucking you. I know you like fucking me, too."

"Fucking asshole!" Tear rolling down my cheek. "I came to you in a time of need, fucked in the head and you what, doped me up so you could fuck me, break my vow to myself, and all for what? Money? Bragging rights?"

"We all know that vow of yours is bullshit," He spits. "You gave that up so fast, your head spun. You couldn't wait to have me stuff you full of my cock, like the little whore you are."

I'm so pissed I'm shaking, abdomen tightening and tears of frustration spilling- I hear him shriek, confused until the look of pain takes over- the look I now know all too well.

"Oh, mother fucker." I curse, pulling off him, scoffing at the boy bleeding across the sheets of his bed as he tries to push his cock back together, too shocked to do anything else. I quickly throw on my clothes and toss him his phone. "You might want to call for help, prick."

I grab my jacket and rushing out, "Some fucking hero you are."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The hospital is busy when I arrive, the nursing staff is everywhere all at once. I finally am able to get a hold of someone at the desk, giving my name and my mother's name so I can go see her. They are asking me to have a seat and wait.

I go to sit, teary-eyed and exhausted. After almost ten minutes of fidgeting(waiting), a redhead in a lab coat comes to sit by me, "Heiwajima Izaya?" I nod, "I'm Dr. Mizuki, I am the one that was taking care of your mother and her surgery. Your mother had a heart attack- the surgery went fine, but it seems your mother suffered from a weakened heart already- and I'm very sorry to say this, but she didn't make it. She passed in her sleep not too long ago."

I freeze and feel my heart drop, nothing felt real anymore as tears renew and spill out. "Can I see her," I barely able to whisper.

He nods, "Yeah, she's still in her room. Follow me," he says gently, holding out a hand that I take and leading me there, clinging onto his arm. We stand outside the room, not moving. "Do you want me to go in with you?"

Shaking my head nod. "Okay, if you change your mind get any of the nurses or you can have me paged- no one should have to be alone at a time like this." He smiles and pets my hair.

"Thank you," I whisper, walking in to see the body of my mother, blanket up to her chest as she looks like she is only asleep. I crawl into the bed beside her, clinging onto her body and pouring my soul out in tears.

_Now, I'm truly alone._

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A Bit Later

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

((Sighing, the redhead doctor looks over the body of the young boy on his operating table as the blue sheet is laid over his body with a hole cut out for his penis (or what's left of it) to come through.

"Seriously, what the hell is the story behind this? First, Haruya now a teenage boy?" Shaking his head as the nurse ties up his apron, gloved hands held up in front of him. 

Taking the lengthy tweezers, lifting up the proximal end of the penis on the tray, chuckling to the nurse beside him. "Barely seems worth it to reattach, am I right?" he purrs, childishly- the nurse rolling her eyes.))


	15. Original Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all in third person.
> 
> First and foremost. I want to apologize to anyone that may be offended by the "C" word. I tend to use it more than most should, so for that I am very sorry. If this bothers you that deeply, this is probably not the fic for you.
> 
> Also, we aren't done with male castration just yet, so if you really dislike it, again, this is your chance to run away (You made it through 2 already, whats another one or two going to harm. :3 )
> 
> To everyone else, thank you for reading, this is the second to last chapter. This is the Original ending (with tweaks of course) and the next chapter will be an alternate ending.
> 
> ^__________^

(((Heiwajima Kichirou walks into his sons' room exhausted and heavy-hearted, taking a seat next to the two sleeping bodies on the messy bed. With a frustrated sigh, he gives Shizuo's shoulder a shove in an attempt to wake him. After a few shoves, Shizuo stirs and sitting up stretching and yawning- not caring the fact that he is completely nude as the blanket slid off his hips, the commotion waking Erika's sleeping form up as well as she covers her body with a gasp.

"What dad?" He growls, scratching his messy blonde locks with a yawn.

Kichirou looking at the girl, asking for her dismissal but is interrupted. "Nah, whatever you have to say, you can say it now and here."

"Fine, whatever." He says with a sigh. "I want you out. Tonight. I can't have you living here any longer."

Shizuo looks blankly at him for a moment followed by the cackle, "What the hell you mean, you want me out? Did that old cunt finally grow a spine or something?" He hisses, earning him a whack to the head- quickly escalating to them both on the floor seething and delivering blows, Shizuo doing far more damage for how much more stronger he was than his old man.

Erika sits curled up in the corner of the bed shaking and crying for them to stop, Shizuo only stopping as he hears the sound of Beast barking and rattling his cage- getting to his feet with a wicked smile across his face and unlatching the cage as the canine lunges for his father and pinning the terrified man to the ground.

"Shizuo, please. Don't do this-," he whimpers in fear and Erika sobs into the blanket, not wanting to watch.

Growling as he plops on the edge of the bed, holding back his commands to the intimating animal. "You know, you should have never married her." Frowning deeply.

"Look, I know how much you loved your mother but she didn't want to be with us anymore. I never did this to try to replace her, I-," he's cut off by the fist slamming into the wall, bits of drywall crumbling as he pulls his fist from the hole, scraps, and cuts on his knuckles.

"I don't give two fucks about that dumb bitch. I don't even remember mom, and I could care less that you married again." Glaring, the dog staying unmoved. "You made her my fucking sister-er, brother. Sibling. You made us related."

"Wha-"

"The only person I ever fucking loved and you made sure that I could never be with that person. You took away my chance at happiness. Now, he will never love me back in return." His teeth gritting hard, ignoring the girls laugh and comment behind him. He didn't care for it. Not for her or her judgment on him.

"Christ, Shizuo. He is your family- has been for a long, long time. Surely you would find someone else to lust over," glaring back at his son.

The angrier that Shizuo got, the meaner Beast snarled and dug his claws into his father's chest, making him cry out in pain.

"Please, stop, Shizuo. Get him off me," he pleads, Shizuo thinking on it for a moment before yelling at Beast to return to his cage.

"Get the fuck out! Both of you," He yells, shoving the naked girl out of the door with his battered father, the tears dropping heavy down his cheeks.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Finally, he finds the energy to pull himself away from the eternal slumbering figure that he once called Mom.  The staff offering their condolences and comfort but he didn't want it. He felt numb, so very numb. 

He turns to the desk, his father and brothers girlfriend are there checking in and he is all but running to throw his arms around the man, face buried in his chest. "She's gone, Dad. She's gone and I don't know what to do anymore," he chokes out, clinging hard to the man and his arms wrapping around him. He pulls back when he feels his father wincing to see the bruises and busted lip he was sporting.

"Oh my, Dad, what happened to your face?" Gasp, gently cupping his father's cheek with care.

"It's okay. I'm okay. Shizuo and I just had a disagreement." He tries to laugh it off, cupping the boys face in both of his large hands. "Are you okay, that's the real question."

He shakes his head, looking up at him with red, puffy eyes. "But one day, I may be."

Nodding, his father turns to the desk to talk to the nurse.

Erika looks at the broken raven and pulling him into a surprising hug, sobbing into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I heard her screaming, but Shizuo told me to just ignore it cause she did it all the time. I'm so fucking sorry."

Pulling away in shock, "Shizu-chan did this?" The girl nods and the raven feels his stomach drop to his feet before he is running away as fast as he can go. His heart is breaking to the point of no return.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

By the time he walked quietly through the front door, he already made up his mind. Formed a plan. One he was going to see to the end. He goes to his room, pulling out the small jewelry box. Giving the wooden box a sad smile, fingers caressing the grained wood. He slowly flips it open, pulling out the two silver bands as he slides the onto his index fingers, smiling at the two simple wedding bands- _my parent's wedding rings._

He rips through his closet, shoving clothes and various items into his backpack, a hidden roll of money shoved it and zipped up. 

Now just one last thing to do, he thinks to himself as he undresses bare and pulling the sundress off the rack- sliding the last female item his mother ever bought for him, on. The black fabric and bright sunflower print made his pale skin glow, the thin straps slipping off his thin shoulders. 

Giving himself a look over in the mirror, he masks a small content smile to his face. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The knock on the door has him jumping, blanket still wrapped around his naked waist as the door slides open- he feels all the air rush out of his lungs at the breathtaking raven in front of him. The black dress clinging tightly over his stomach and chest, drawing up his small breast to give the slightest show of cleavage. The raven stays silent, walking over to the blonde and plucking the cigarette from his slack lips and taking a drag- trying not to gag, exhaling and putting the smoke out.

Sitting on the bed, making Shizuo back up just the smallest bit- look for confusion is replaced with curiosity as Izaya dances his fingers across his chest, mapping the line of muscle down his stomach to the deep 'V' of his groin- only stopping as Shizuo catches his wrist in his grasp.

"Why? Why now, Izaya?"

" _Why not~_ " he purrs, the sound was almost like vibrations striking straight to his cock, twitching to life. " _I thought this is what I wanted? Maybe I was saving myself for you all these years and just needed someone to remind me~ You still want me, don't you? Come and unwrap your gift if you do~,_ " purring, lying straight through his teeth.

Shizuo didn't need to much more convincing as his cock stood for a standing ovation as the raven pushes him to the bed and straddles his lap, slowly sliding up the edge of his dress to show Shizuo his prize, the blonde moaning at the sight of the bare naughty raven in front of him- straddling his thighs, his cock rubbing against the wetness of his naked cunt. " _Shit, Iza-chan~ Look at you; all good girl has gone bad~ So_ _beautiful. I could just eat you up,"_ He growls, grabbing onto Izaya's soft hips to grind him along his length. Izaya smirking on the inside from his comment. "Fuck," reaching up to devour his neck, sucking and licking up the flesh- pulling sweet soft mewls from the other's lips. He trails his way up his neck,  kissing up his jaw and cheek to his lips, kissing as passionately as he can with his brute force, pulling back to lick his lips. "Mm, you taste just like cherries, delicious~"

"I knew you would like it~  _But there's another cherry I think I want you to have more~,_ " he purrs across his lips, panting as he grinds down on the leaking cock under him.

The dark grin spreading along his lips made Izaya shiver, "Don't mind if I do, then," pulling the dresses straps over his shoulder until his breasts popped out the top, Shizuo running his tongue one of the nipples, feeling it get hard along this wet muscle. He sucks on it, massaging the other breast with his hand. "You have the most stunning pair of tits ever," latching on the other side and massage the slightly damp breast in his other hand.

"Oh, how very romantic of you,  _big brother~_ ," he snorts sarcastically. "Now, are you going to fuck me or am I going to have to find someone else that would want to ravish me?" Quirking his eyebrow, giggling when he receives a growl, his waist being pulled on and the wetness of the blunt cock head slowly nudging at his opening.

"How do you want me, baby boy? Hard and fast or nice and slow?" Lips curling back into a grin.

"Well, I've never done this," he continues to lie. "I want to savor it, I want you to show me what all those years of waiting for me did to you," groaning as the head starts to slide inside, nice and slow it is, it seems.  _Fuck, Shizu-chan's too big,_ Izaya whimpers to himself as he braces himself on the other's shoulders to relax, becoming distracted by the mouth on his nipples and fingers pinching- inhaling sharply as the rest of the length is shoved up inside, pushing painfully against his cervix. 

"Oh, fuck baby- so tight-," gasping as the heat wrapping around his throbbing cock like a vice; a moist, warm vice- hugging his cock just the way he always imagined it would all these years.  After he starts to feel the muscles wrapped around him relax, he pulls back and slowly thrusting back up- savoring the feel of the wet ridges running up and down his cock, the over sensitiveness of his cock piercing making him shiver. Continuing his slow pace, a moan leaving the other's lips- almost like they were making love. "Want to know a secret, baby, ~"

Cock sliding up as the raven pushes down, moaning. "Mm, yes~ tell me your secrets~," and out again.

"You," sliding in, pushing hard. " are," and out. "the," in. "Only," out. "Pussy," in. "I've ever fucked," pulling out roughly, to flip their positions, pushing back in quickly, pace picking up.

Izaya clinches onto the sheets by his head, fists balled up and moaning lowly. "But you fucked-,"

"Her ass. Only her ass, and well, her mouth but still. Everyone else is the same," moaning, watching the flush of the Ravens face and the bounce of his tits from the force of his thrusts. " I only ever wanted yours, it was you or no one else. I'm so lucky to be able to share this with you," he gently running his scarred finger over his lip, the bottom lip pulling down to show the whites of his teeth.

Shizuo's pace slows down as a flashback hits him leaving him confused. _Young Shizuo is sitting in the pool with his bleeding finger held up, Kanra is looking at him grinning- pearly white teeth gleaming but not a speck of blood on the row of porcelain._

He freezes, slowly looking down at their connection- Izaya sensing what he must be thinking about and wraps his legs around him tightly to push him all the way in him as he feels Shizuo begin to pull away.

His eyes give a look of pleading but Izaya clinches his muscles, hard on his cock with all the hate and rage that is boiling in his heart. Shizuo gasps painfully, a tear falling from his eye as the raven shoves him off him- the sound of a fleshy rip is heard and Izaya is off the bed, out of his reach.

Shocked from the pain keeping him from crying out, using the blanket to squeeze over his bleeding member as his free hand is searching for the other half. He stops looking, the chaotic chuckle bubbling out of the raven's throat, sadist smirk stretching across his facing making him look like a madman; well, a madman in a sundress. Ruby eyes locking onto honey ones as he released his muscles, the missing length of his cock dropping to the ground from between the raven's thighs.

"Iz--aya-, why-?" He gasped out.

"That's for letting my mother die, you goddamn monster," Izaya growls, lips curling back even further.

Beast is at the cage now, thrashing hard a the commotion, until he is breaking through the door stalking towards the raven cause him to freeze with a frown on his face. "Beast, get---him," he commands, but the dog ignores him as he takes the torn hunk of flesh into his mouth. "No, bad--dog. Drop it!" He manages to yell, the dog starts to devour the meat, "Nononononononnooooooono. FUCK." He sobs out, watching his manhood be gobbled up by his dog- the dog finishing and dropping a small chunk of the head with the metal bar barely hanging onto it.

Izaya pets Beast's head, praising him with a smirk on his lips, then walking out with the middle finger raised- not looking back as the blonde starts to go into shock.

Grabbing his bag, he heads to the front door- stopping to grab his mothers parka out of the closet, smiling softly at the black jacket and stroking over the tan fur before sliding it on himself. With his backpack, he leaves his home- leaving behind the past and the memories and the pain in his aching heart.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Four Years Later

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Good morning, Mr. Orihara!" 

Smiling through the sleepy fog in his head, greeting his neighbor- enjoying the soft sea breeze flowing through his hair. Finally, escaping the nightmares of his past and moving on with his new life he built for himself. 

_New life. New body. New memories to replace the bad, but never the good ones._

He sighs contently as warm arms wrap around his waist. Smiling as he turns his head to look at the young raven man, kissing his cheek softly. "Good morning, Mi-chan. Sleep well?"

Mikado giving a little toothy grin and shining bright blue eyes, "Yes, well, you sure do know how to wear someone out," kissing the older man's lips.

Grinning back, "How about I show you just how much I can wear you out, baby~," purring as he leads the other into the small house, joy swelling in his heart.

_He's finally got his happy ending._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes. the very ending was changed, and I'm not sure I how I feel about it but there it is.
> 
> BTW, that last pairing is just for you Denrinko. :3
> 
> I'll have the alternate ending posted later. Thank you.  
> Comment, kudos, and such if you liked. If you have any ideas of something you would like for me to write ( totally digging the revamping of movies with drrr characters) please let me know. I think I am up for the challenge.


	16. Alternate Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Ending (For Shizuo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate ending, starting at the same stop off spot as the Original ending- Izaya finding out that his mother has died.
> 
>  
> 
> Anddddd.... ACTION~

((The tears began to slow, Izaya slowly stroking his fingers through his mother's dark locks; noting how it is already turning dull and brittle under the weight of his fingertips.  He stays curled up beside her, unmoving and always watching. Watching and waiting, in hopes that maybe he would get the glimpse of a part of her lips or the gentle rise of her chest. Any sign of this nightmare not being true, any sign of life left in the person he always looked to as being his other half.

Tucking his head on her chest so her chin rested on his head, lacing one hand together with hers.

He stayed like him for a while, whispering into the hospital gown, "I love you so much, Mom. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. Life has just been so fucked lately, like, really fucked. And now this.  I know I wasn't always the greatest kid growing up but what did I do to deserve-, fuck, " hiccuping a sob, wiping his eyes on the gown. "I'm missing you already- I don't have anyone left but Dad and Shizu-chan, but it isn't the same- not without you. It never will be...," hands clenched into balls, blunt nails digging into the soft flesh of his palms before releasing. Closing his eyes, he drifts into a fitful sleep clinging to his mother.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He hadn't been out for too long, the rest he got was bordering on non-existing and he finally removed himself from her side- the painful pull on his heart every centimeter he stepped away from the lifeless body. Leaving the room, he sees his father at the desk as he runs and wrapping his arms around him- carving the comfort of a loved one. The warmth of the arms around him helped calm him, but not completely- the deafening numbness still weighing heavy. 

"What's wrong, love?" His father asks, petting the top of his head.

"She's gone, Dad. She's gone and I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost and numb." His father embraces tightening, cursing lightly under his breath.

"No..., when did she..?"  Hearing the faint sob rattling in his chest.

"About an hour and a half ago. They let me spend some time with her- but I think it made it worse." Trembling, looking up into his eyes. "I miss her already.."

Pecking his forehead, the quiver of his lips don't go unnoticed. "Me too, sweetheart. Me too."

"Dad?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"I love you. No matter what happens from here on out, just know that I love you-you are the greatest father anyone could ever ask for." Trying to smile.

"And I love you, too. Your mother loves you too so very much, she thought the moon and the stars about you. You were always her gift. Did your mother ever tell you how you were sick when you were born?"

The Raven shakes his head, looking into chocolate eyes. "Yes, she said you were fighting for your life since you were born- you almost died from an infection in your heart. That's why she calls you her little gift because you surviving was the greatest gift she could ask for."

Smiling, he nods and thanking him for telling him and pulling away. "If you don't mind, I think I want to just go home, for now, okay?" Receiving a nod as he turns and leaves for home.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Walking through the front door, he stomps his way into the kitchen- pulling the new bottle of rum down from the shelf, popping it open and taking a swig- cringing at the harsh, bitter burn of the alcohol as it ignites down his throat. Ignoring it, he takes another gulp of the substance. Grabbing the bottle, he heads out of the kitchen and down the hallway- stopping to knock but deciding that he didn't care to even knock at the moment as he opens the door, sliding in with a little sway to his step.

Being a lightweight, the alcohol only needed minutes before it turned the raven to swaying slightly with a soft giggle. "Shizu-chan~~," he sings out, looking down on the confused man laying on his bed with his blanket wrapped around his waist and no shirt on.

"Come, Shizu-chan. Have a drink with me, nii-chan~," taking a sip from the bottle as he walks to the bed, plopping in the empty spot next to him.

"What's wrong, Iza-chan? You don't drink- what happened," his eyebrows kneading, taking the bottle for the ravened boy- who was pouting.

"Because- I need it. I want to forget about everything horrible right now," whispering, grabbing the bottle with Shizuo's hand still on it, taking a large gulp-  his cheeks becoming very flushed from the liquid. Sighing, Shizuo takes a drink, too. Reaching to the nightstand and pulling out a half-smoked joint and lighting it. Taking a hit, passing it to the raven- whom takes it willingly and pulling from it but stopping with a coughing fit of smoke- giggling when he is done.  He leans back, resting his back against Shizuo's hip- the blonde tensing slightly at the contact but quickly relaxes himself, pulling the boy to lay next to him on the bed more comfortably, leaning to put the bottle on the floor and pulling from the joint before sitting it in the ashtray, wrapping a strong arm around Izaya.

Smiling and snuggling into the arm, sighing contently. "I miss this. You and me, just hanging out like when we were younger," dancing his fingertips over Shizuo's arm, humming.

"Yeah, I know." Sighing, "I'm sorry I'm such an asshole, you know- I," pausing, shaking his head and pulling the body closer to his chest pressing against the others back.

"It's okay, I just wish we were still close- we use to be best friends. Now, sometimes it feels like we're just strangers," turning in the embrace to hug onto the blonde, resting his head on his chest- suddenly letting out a small sob, tears dropping on the blonde's chest.

"Oi, what's wrong? Talk to me, Izaya-," rubbing his back as another sob leaked out.

"Everything. Everything is wrong, fucked up; where do I even begin," he whispers between tears, 'And Mom, she..she's," sobbing more.

"Is she okay?" Petting the short ebony locks.

Shaking his head, "No- she's.. she's gone, Shizu-chan. And it hurts, hurts so fucking bad." Trying to blink away the tears, gaze raising to meet his. Staring into those tearful rubies, whisper how sorry he is over and over. Bringing one hand to gently cup the raven's cheek.

Eyeing Izaya with half-lidded eyes, he slowly leans forward to press his lips to the others- nothing more than just pressing of chapped skin together, soft and sweet.

"Shizu-chan?" He whispers looking into the honey colored eyes with hope, the blonde nodding. "Do you love me?"

Smiling at Izaya, his thumb massage soothing strokes across his cheeks. "Yes. So very much, you will never know how much I love you-you're all I think about, dream about," ending the statement with a press of his lips, lightly dragging his lips across the others-whom copies him, arms snaking around his neck. Lips parting as tongues met in the middle, the tastes of liquor and cigarettes swapping between each other until they both taste like one, kissing deep, slow, and passionately. "I love you, Izaya.  I love you so goddamn fucking much."

Izaya giggles a little against his lips, "Shizu-chan is so romantic with his words~," giving the blonde a kiss. "Show me. Show me how much you love me and want me. Show me all the love those years have built up in you. Love me and make me forget about all the bad," he pleads, Shizuo shutting him up with a fierce kiss, hands on his waist.  Continuing their kiss of passion, sliding the raven's shirt up and over his head and slowly undoing the binder, moaning at the sight as it as it pops open and tits bouncing out; throwing he binder across the room. Shizuo leaves his mouth, kissing down his jaw to his neck and sucking on his collarbones to pull a moan from the raven's lips- his body reacting far too well to the sounds the boy in his arms are making- cock throbbing hard under the blankets around his hips. Thin arms clinging tightly to his shoulders as he moves lower, licking one of his nipples, feeling of it getting hard along his taste buds and sucking the pink bud into mouth and hand dipping down to grab a handful of his ass. "Mm, Shizu-chan~," mewling, thin fingers clinching hard in his golden locks of encouragement,  switching sides then moving lower to kiss down his abdomen, the muscles quivering under his lips- smirking.

"So beautiful, perfect~," He purrs, causing the raven to blush hard, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth; and Shizuo swears he was close to coming just watching him. "Fuck," re-positioning Izaya onto his back, fingers skillfully unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them down his thin legs, falling to the floor. Sitting up as he admires the naked body under him, his own naked body now on display for Izaya who is gasping at the hard cock between his thighs. "Look what you do to me, Izaya~ This is all you, only you."

"Breathtaking," small hands dancing up and down his abs, wrapping his thin fingers around the length of hardened flesh and stroking slowly. "All mine~," he purrs, pushing on Shizuo's abdomen until he is laying back on the bed and Izaya is taking him into his mouth, sucking and licking the head, teeth tugging at the piece of metal playfully and grinning at the moans from his actions. "Fuck, I like this piercing. So big," purring, one hand on the side of his cock as he licks and sucks up and down it, engulf his length as far as he can, bobbing up and down- lips stretching wide around his thickness.

"Yeah? Fuck, sucking that big cock so good sugar~" His hands in lightly gripping the back of his head, encouraging him to take more. Gagging, he pulls back to catch his breath and crawling over his lap, straddling him and grinding his wet entrance along the shaft. "Baby, I'm going to make you feel so good."

Izaya grabs he cock and lining it up and slowly sinking down, holding his breath against the burn of his stretch. "Fuck, ah, too big," stopping as he whimpers, not wanting to clamp upon him.

Shizuo restraining himself from pushing up into him, gently rubbing his thighs. "Take your time, it'll feel better after you get used to it," speaking through gritted teeth. "God damn you're tight, hunny," painting.

After a moment, he relaxes and continues to sink down, thighs shaking as he finally meets his brother's pelvis and moaning, hands pressing flat on his the firm muscular chest. Hands find his hips, encouraging him as he starts to move, rising up and sliding down slowly, groaning at the full filling and how Shizuo is gently thrusting up to meet him. "Fuck, Shizu-chan," groaning as he starts to speed up, blunt nails digging into the flesh of his chest as the burn fades and pleasure takes over. "So good, ah, aha, mmmm," Izaya moaning over and over as Shizuo grips his hips firmly and is thrusting faster into him.

"Yes, baby, so good~ I want to feel you cum around my cock, cum for me baby," one of his hands snaking down to rapidly toy with his clitoris, Izaya panting and moaning, cock slamming faster up into him.

"Shit, I'm so close- gonna' cum for you Shizu-chan, cum from that monster cock of yours," bouncing faster, pressing down hard as he feels his muscles quiver and orgasm, ripping out of him as he came.

"Fuck, fuck- yes, I'm cumming too- I fucking love you, fuck," Moaning and burying deep, holding firmly in place as he cums hard inside him, not wanting to release him. When he finally pulls out, the warm liquid dripping out and down Izaya's thighs, pulling the boy into his arms and snuggling him with a smile- peppering him with kisses as they try to catch their breaths.

"That was...amazing," panting, lightly kissing the blonde's lips. His smile starts to drop a little, concerning Shizuo.

"What hunny? What's on your pretty little mind," he asks, kissing his forehead and pulling his warm naked body closer to him.

Izaya tracing circles on his chest, "Are you still going to like me when I'm...not like this?"

The blonde chuckles, "Honestly, when you first came out about wanting to change to being a man- I was enraged. I felt like it was so unfair like you were trying to punish me or something." Sighing, "I knew it was ridiculous since you didn't actually know how I felt- how could you, I was such an asshole all the time- I just didn't know how I should act around you. But then I started having dreams of you actually like a guy and I didn't feel grossed out by it or anything. I realized I wanted you, all of you and however way you come. I mean, yeah, you're the hottest chick I've ever laid eyes on- but you're more than just looks. You're so smart and caring, funny, and about the only person that can put up with my dumb ass shit," he grins. "I'll love you no matter what. Man, woman, cat boy- whatever tickles your fancy, as long as I get to be by your side-," interrupted by Izaya kissing him, tears in his eyes and a smile on his lips.

"Shizu-chan?"

"Hmm?"

"Run away with me. I'm leaving and I want you to come with me if you want, that is." Turning to look him in the eye.

"Hmm, then what the fuck are we doing just laying around. Let's get going, babe," he grins wide and pulling him into a kiss, about to leave to start a new life.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Four Years Later

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Kyouko? Where are you~," Izaya coos, smirking as he hears little giggles coming around the couch? "Oh, dear. I wonder where she could be- I guess she's gone. I'll just have to eat all these cookies all by myself, then~"

The small toddler comes running out and clinging to his leg, "No, mama. My cookies... mine!"

The raven man giggles, scooping the small girl up into his arms. "Fine, but only if I get some sugar'," patting his cheek, the toddler giggling and placing a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, now go eat your cookie before daddy gets home." Putting her down and she runs into the kitchen, sound of chairs pulling across the kitchen floor and giggles.

"Too bad Daddy's already here~" Shizuo purrs, arms wrapped around his raven's waist making him jump and giggle.

"Welcome home, Daddy~" kissing his cheek. "I missed you," giving a playful smirk. 

A wide grin spreading on the blondes face. "Let's see if we can sneak away and you can show Daddy just how much you missed him~," purring, pulling the raven man by the hand, smiling as he glances back at his daughter and down at his lover- he was never happier than he is now.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, not sure how I feel. but here it is. u_u hoped you liked it.

**Author's Note:**

> See, it wasn't that bad. Right? Oh Jesus on a pogo stick. I'm going to hell.
> 
>  
> 
> Links for pictures. Did not draw these.
> 
> https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ac/ec/51/acec5126d1b8f4430cb267e0c8b2359e.jpg


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